we're fighting for our lifeline;

2008-12-08T17:44:00.002+08:00

` 1162; - herald the dawn

Goodbye, blogspot.
Give me a chance, Jugem.

MOVING ON.

Pls relink, kthx.
I'll be keeping this blog for memory's sake.

2008-12-08T16:47:00.002+08:00

` 1162; -

Configuring new blog.
Confusing.
~~Will move soon~~.

WATCH THIS SPACE.

2008-12-07T02:12:00.004+08:00

` 1161; - some prefer nettles

"When I asked about it one day, I learned that her real name was Naomi, written with three Chinese characters. The name excited my curiosity. A splendid name, I thought; written in Roman letters, it could be a Western name. I began to pay special attention to her. Strangely enough, once I knew that she had such a sophisticated name, she began to take on an intelligent, Western look."

- Kawai Joji; in the book Naomi by Junichiro Tanizaki

**
When I was younger, I always hated my name. I didn't like it at all. People made fun of it. I thought it was unique for my own good.

But till now, I love my name. I'm thankful my parents didn't name me Talulah or Hatuha.

:D

& many people thought that pic above is a person from a manga or something, or a Japanese video game. YAY I LOOK LIKE SEPHIROTH'S VIRTUAL KIND HOHOHO. not. But nearly there.

2008-12-07T02:01:00.002+08:00

` 1160; -

It took me 1 whole minute to understand and analyse it. And then I died, of laughter.

2008-12-06T23:31:00.002+08:00

` 1159; -

They look at your life and decide if they want to be like you.

2008-12-06T14:36:00.002+08:00

` 1158; - hindered at the finish line

"Obstacles do not exist to be surrendered to, only to be broken."

- Adolf Hitler, in his book Mein Kampf

For once, I actually agree with him.

2008-12-05T18:35:00.002+08:00

` 1157; - trying to make some sense of

“That is the way the world is. I have explained this. I think I lost votes after I explained the awful truth. Nobody believed it, but slowly it dawned on them – especially the graduates – that yes, you marry a non-graduate, then you worry about whether or not your son or daughter is going to make it to the university!”

- Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew

Okay, so my parents aren't graduates. They did not even attend Junior College/Polytechnic. So does it mean that me going to NUS or Stanford or Imperial College is just a pipe dream?

2008-12-05T02:08:00.002+08:00

` 1156; -

you were an island & i passed you by

2008-12-04T00:11:00.003+08:00

` 1155; -

I must practice the piano for 3 hours a day.
I feel happy when I'm with it.

He practices dance for 6 hours.
Like him, to become successful, practice is the key.

& I'm going to learn cello after ABRSM Diploma(:
Like Jay Chou!

"Hello everyone, I am Rain.
Now should be the time for exams.
Do well in the exams.
Don't be nervous and careless.
Remember well and think carefully for the answers.
Fighting everyone!
Do well in the exams, I was also nervous at that time.
Remember don't be nervous, neverousness will be a big barrier. Everyone can do it!
Let's fighting together, thank you!"

He wrote that during my O Level period.
When I get back my result slip, if I'm happy with my results, I'm going to photocopy it, send it to Korea for him HAHAHAHHA

2008-12-03T20:39:00.004+08:00

` 1154; - smile for the paparazzi

Pride may get in the way. Doesn't matter.
Titles may overshadow intentions. Doesn't matter.
Politics in the group may get in the way. Doesn't matter.
Good intentions may be mistaken as bad ones. Doesn't matter.
Jumping to conclusions may numb sensitivity to other people's emotions. Doesn't matter.

Truly, power corrupts.

I'm disappointed. What happened to the old you?

It's a time for stretching. People may disappoint me but I can't be disappointed with them because God doesn't give up on the worst people.
Stretching emotionally.

Ganbare, Naomi.

2008-12-03T00:35:00.003+08:00

` 1153; - nonsense siol

Hello, my very nonsense friend, S, sent me this email, entitled,

"THE BIG PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE."

Okay if you can't see her horrible Mouse-to-write-on-Microsoft-Paint handwriting, let me enlighten you.

YOU --> GO GYM --> JOIN A MODELING AGENCY (INTERNATIONAL) --> RAIN SCOUTS FOR YOU TO MODEL FOR SIX TO FIVE --> YOU BRING SEXY BACK --> HE TEACHES YOU KOREAN YOU TEACH HIM ENGLISH --> HE FALLS FOR YOU --> YOU INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING :D

-.- plausible!

(Six to Five is Rain's own clothing business venture which he designs [I think, he doesn't tell me much about it, he says it's to surprise me], and it's going to be launched SOON)

2008-12-03T00:05:00.002+08:00

` 1152; -

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE They're so cute VO^_^OV
Agree with me that my husband's so adorable :D
Early 메리 크리스마스!

Now I'm doing/going to do soon:

Packing my room (which is super messy)
Practicing the chords for SOW Keyboard - must not infuse classical music stuff, said Yong Hui
Be the top keyboardist for SOW class!
Write testimony for BMT
Not grow fat (going to gym with Sylvia next week!)
Go out with Clara (from MEP)
Go to Tecman again, get a new Bible (I'm so holy that the pages are falling out of the old bible)
Eat Yami yoghurt!
Self-learn Rainism dance to slim down (HARHAR YA RIGHT)
Walk around neighbourhood in the evenings

Goodbye world. I'm off to pack my room.

2008-12-01T13:18:00.002+08:00

` 1151; - School of Worship

I GOT IN! (:

*dances a little jig*

2008-11-30T23:49:00.002+08:00

` 1150; - knowing that we are loved

"You can cut me into a thousand pieces, but every piece would still love you."

2008-11-30T00:04:00.005+08:00

` 1149; - I love japan!

MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA MIURA HARUMA

2008-11-28T00:47:00.006+08:00

` 1148; -

It was the first dawn of a sweet December, where raindrops patter against my glass window, the drops condensing on the sheer transparency, forming little light catchers as the sky heralded the sun. The clouds outside were soaked in pastel hues; baby pink, baby blue - with a dash of dazzling yellow-orange. The myriad of colours all jostling to fill my bedroom.

I sat up in bed. Me, my bedroom, and you.

I crept out, leaving the bed, and looked out of the French windows. Raindrops dotted the glass and distorted the view of the lane outside my house; -

It was devoid of life, drenched in the cold rain, the street lamps flickering, about to die down sooner or later. The trees outside swayed, much like in tune and in time with the wind that was playfully teasing them inside and out. I sighed.

After marveling at it all, I turned back.

The crispness of well laundered sheets, the little dent my head made in the fluffed up plump pillows, Hippo and Cowabunga between us, the promise of warmth radiating from the sweet smelling bedlinen and your 6"2 tall frame.

Silence.

널 만져줄꺼야 널 아껴줄꺼야
너의 뒤에 있을께 너의 곁에서 널
영원히 지켜줄꺼야 난 사랑 받아야하는걸
너와 아침을 맞이하고싶어

2008-11-27T03:03:00.003+08:00

` 1147; -

I'm falling in love with Mr Frédéric Chopin, Mr Franz Peter Schubert, Mr Franz Liszt, Mr Ludwig van Beethoven, Mr Johann Chrysostom Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart & Mr Franz Joseph Haydn. Oh and not forgetting Mr Nobuo Uematsu, Mr Ryuichi Sakamoto and of course Yiruma!

Okay I'm stepping on many boats now. Including Jeong Jihoon....

:D

I love my piano now, to the max. Spend 4 hours interacting with it today, and I can feel the strings warming up everytime I start an arpeggio. Music is certainly love. (:

I can still remember the name I gave it last time man, super funny. Jacqueline Yamashita Yamaha. HAHAHAHAHHAHA

This is what you get when you're blogging at 3:13am.

2008-11-26T12:19:00.002+08:00

` 1146; - meme

According to your age, list down the number of things that most people don't know about you. And then tag 5 people.

1. I dislike smoke(ers). But I'm more tolerant of them if they're my friends.
2. I have a craving for random foods at random intervals. Lao Po Bing yesterday, Yami Yoghurt today.
3. I like well-built tall older guys with small eyes and cute smiles :) You know who I mean
4. I like him when he wear suits/vests.
5. I dislike it immensely when people talk to me/make a lot of noise when I'm practising the piano.
6. I chew on my fingernails when I'm nervous.
7. My hair colour, brown, is natural. I keep getting caught by the discipline master (Primary & Secondary) all the time for my hair.
8. My right eyelid would twitch when something bad is going to happen.
9. My favourite food is not sashimi, but Kimchi Jjigae (Kimchi Stew).
10. I hate Skippy's Peanut Butter with Grape Jam. The mixture looks like worms.
11. I dislike half boiled eggs and sunny side ups.
12. I am what you get when you put Korea, The Hainan Islands, Hong Kong, Mongolia and Singapore put together.
13. I have a secret crush on someone.
14. I was 2 weeks premature.
15. My record number of hours for sleeping in a day was 15 hours straight.
16. I love durian.

Is everyone more than 5 people?

2008-11-25T20:49:00.006+08:00

` 1145; - hello, my love

Hello, this is my husband, Jeong Jihoon :D
I really cannot see his eyes. As in, his eyeball.

(:

2008-11-24T23:42:00.006+08:00

` 1144; - heaven's gate is so near

"O loving Christ, draw me, a weakling, after Yourself; for if You do not draw me I cannot follow You. Give me a brave spirit that I may be ready and alert. If the flesh is weak, may Your grace go before me; for without You I cannot do anything, and especially, for Your sake I cannot go to a cruel death. Grant me a ready spirit, a fearless heart, right faith, a firm hope, and a perfect love, for Your sake I may lay down my life with patience and joy."

- John Huss

As he lay in chains in prison before being burned at the stake
Bohemia (Czechoslovakia)
A. D 1415

2008-11-24T00:57:00.004+08:00

` 1143; - strangled by the thoughts

I hate keeping things wrapped up in my brain, swirling around and not manifesting itself till Kingdom Come. So I'm going to write everything here.

B, I don't feel like talking to you. Stop being such an ass.

H, sometimes you make me angry. You treat me like I'm not streetsmart, as if I don't know any single thing at all. I know what I'm doing, and sometimes you should really stop jumping to conclusions, LISTEN to what people have to say/suggest before retorting, kthx.

R, 내가 얼마나 당신을 사랑합니다. 당신이 날 다시 사랑해 주실 건가요?

W & V, we should really hang out soon (:

J, when are we having our K-drama marathon?!?!?! Beethoven Virus is stagnating for you! 빨리 빨리! Before Maestro Kang's charm dies on you!

HJ, how are you doing in 한국? Uni life still going strong? 당신이 너무 그리워요. When are you coming back to Singapore for vacation?

I am really worried for SOW auditions. Even though I've practiced. But I'm still scared.

I don't know what to do. Perpetual ennui is setting in. Maybe I'll devote myself to my music.

I find that music is more straightforward than people. Even though you can create your own expression, but you cannot do rubato in a Baroque piece. It's like communism. Unlike people, who are unpredictable. I only feel welcome by my piano, and nothing else. Am I becoming like Kang Mae?

I want to go to Yonsei University's Korean Language Institute na0. But maybe I'll be able to go for it in Poly? I guess they'll change their schedule by then.

My left eye is infected thanks to 3 hour sleeps due to Asia Conference, but learning from my favourite preachers Phil Pringle and A.R Bernard and Kong Hee, it was worth it.

I want to star in a korean drama. With Kim Myung Min and Rain. Badly.

I love Heart of God Church, and my Pastors TTM.

I want to be like Sun. I want to build schools for the kids, donate stuff, blood and everything. I love doing stuff like that. Loving people who need it the most.

Oh, the desire in me, the flame to be what You want me to be, keep it burning
for I'll be running, running, running to the goal that You have in store
like an Olympic sprinter
It's do or die, start to the finish

2008-11-22T01:21:00.001+08:00

` 1142; -

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Wen Jun is your soulmate.

You truly love Hyun.

You consider Fedora your true friend.

You know that Chew Theng is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Joyce for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Sylvia is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Wanwen is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Boxue is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Boxue changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Darren is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Darren has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

The first sentence is... scary.

2008-11-20T15:11:00.002+08:00

` 1141; - great expectations

We tend to mould people to what we want them to be, stifling them in the process.

We cut them with harsh words, thinking that it would change the part abut themselves that annoy us. We push them down, to show them that in reality, we are better than them (period). We speak ill of them behind another person - to break their inward self-confidence when they find out; thus showing them that the whole world does not accept losers like them. We gossip, bitch, backstab them to hinder them from getting more friends than us.

It's with these people that I have learned to select the few to say "I love you" to. I used to randomly dish out those 3 words because I guessed that it'll make them happy and loved to feel that they have such a friend - but alas! They don't. They get it, stomp all over it, and spit on it. So what worth is my love to you as a friend? None? Forget it.

That's why now, I don't love all my friends. I know that we must love people and others and everything but my love is so sacred to me that I can't freely give it away. Acceptance? Yes, that I can give. Pity? All the easier.

As they say, Once Bitten, Twice Shy. I got cut down by the world, and now I'm back on my feet again, thanks to Him up there. But when you stab someone, no matter how many apologies you offer - the wound is still going to be there. Forgiveness? Maybe so.

Before you get all judgemental and anal, look in the mirror and weigh all your expections of other people against yourself, and you'll see the loser that you really are inside.

2008-11-19T02:12:00.004+08:00

` 1140; -

HELLO!

This is for Naomi, who really likes her Kim Myung Min!

Okay not to mention her Chagiya Jeong Ji Hoon

Okay lah sorry unglam picture but I know you like KMM more now, hahahahahahahahha

Love, J!

2008-11-16T00:49:00.025+08:00

` 1139; - infected by beethoven virus [drama review]

SERIOUSLY EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT A FAN OF CLASSICAL MUSIC, THIS IS A MUST WATCH. (Although being a pianist myself I am very biased towards anything classical but, well!)

And finally, Kim Myung Min returns to the small screen! *applause please* I think Lee Ji-ah wasn't that bad and plus there's eye candy Jang Geun Seuk (from Hwangjini) ! HAHAHAHA YAY V^_^V (N.B: As I'm typing this I'm actually supressing a squeal when I'm thinking of Kang Senior, the conductor. AHAHAHAH I loveeeeeeeeeeeeee older men *squeeeeeeeeee)

Leeching this off Soompi...well a bit of it.

Kang "Ma-ae" Gun Woo / acted by Kim Myung Min

42 y/o, Maestro (means an eminent composer, teacher, or conductor of music)
Elitist, thinks classical music are for the nobility (stuck in the past, much?)
Insensitive, ignorant, righteous attitude, oversized ego, irritating.
Gives off the feel-like-slapping-him-vibe.
"Orchestra Killer", because he yells at musicians and never stays with the same orch for more than 6 months.

Du RuMi / acted by Lee Ji-ah

27 y/o, First Violinist
Positive outlook on life, immature, typical carefree girl.
Never holds a grudge (especially when Kang Mae roasts her with his words)
Was actually Gun Woo (the younger)'s girlfriend, but falls for Kang Mae eventually (Me: YAY!)

Kang Gun Woo / acted by Jang Geun Seuk

24 y/o, amazing talented rising conductor, disciple of Kang Mae, plays the trumpet.

Shares the same name as Kang Mae, the conductor.

Perfect pitch, straightfoward, daring, cool, open.

Okay enough with the introductions and onward with the lovely screencaps by Luv from dramabeans/soompi! (:

WAITWAIT. In this screencap, Kang Mae takes Ru Mi's hand. Is it okay for a guy to take a girl's hand especially when he's explaining to her something which will eventually make her pissed? I don't know. But it's the start of definite fission between these two YAY

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. But sorry Gun Woo she's not yours MUAHAHAHAH. I'm so mean. But I love Kang Mae (:

Oh he works so hard, Kang Mae. (Stalkerish here but he's soooooooooooo adorable O^.^O)

Oh no Ru Mi being caught by Gun Woo in Kang Mae's clothes (Not going to tell you what happened but it doesn't involve... um... what you thought it meant. WATCH THE DRAMA. Okay suddenly the thought of Ru Mi and Kang Mae getting all risque is destroying my admiration for Kang Mae. Ew.)

HAHAHA I love these two. Definitely flirting. Especially with Ru Mi's accurate dissection of Kang Mae's bark-is-worse-than-bite attitude and the perpetual i'm-so-cute-why-don't-you-like-me faces. Oh Kang Mae! Your ignorance towards love makes me smile. I think I have a thing for men in suits/vests and the like. Suave and handsome. I like.

First time I see Kang Mae laugh. Seriously this girl's too good to be true. Stuffing 7 cookies in your mouth is soooooooooo def. unglam to the max, I tell you. But still it makes the grumpy old man laugh for the very first time. And here, Kang Mae says something very pitiful pertaining to himself so + 646165465198426541 brownie points for Team Kang Mae! *cheers*

Kang Mae: "Don't pull such a long face and cry. You look better
when you smile."
Ru Mi: "O.O"

AHAHAH OMG KYUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D Go Kang Mae GO!

She then runs off... blah blah and he mysteriously appears at her destination!

Ru Mi: "I'm listening to Lizst's Liebenstraum No 3 now, teacher. The original title's nicer. Do you know what it is? It's "if you can love, just love."

And after all the emotion, Kang Mae has his insults at the ready... aim... FIRE! Way to be callous, Maestro.

After practice she sneaks out to meet Kang Mae, and his idea of a date is... to go to a library and read western music. Interestingggggggggggg. But then she suggests to do something 'fun', like going to take a walk in the park, and she pointed out that he wasn't much of a role model in reading because he hadn't even turned the page while she was there. HAHAA OUCH. He ends up following her like a puppy :) The man is so cute! AHAHAHAHAHAH

GRUMPY KANG FTW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! :D

& some random stills, if I keep narrating you won't have the need to watch...

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Come on, I didn't even do a review about Full House man! This being my first review is a bonus in itself. WATCH. IT. NA0.

Ramblings:

- I have no idea why I'm drawn to older men (like, 10 or more years my senior (RAIN!) than those Farenheit or SHINee boybands). Especially if they're wearing a suit/vest with a tie. I just find them... irresistable. Like I want to go hug them or something and have them hug me back (: Everyone's falling for Kang Junior when I'm the only one squealing for Kang Senior. :/

- TEAM KANGMI (ie, Kang Mae and Ru Mi) FTW!!!!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

- I don't care if Kang Mae acts like an asshat but he's so squeeeeeeeeeeeee! Fangirlism. ;D

- D'you notice that Ru Mi's name is a derivation of my name? HEHEHE. Oh ssulung! :/

- I realized that I've spoken more about Kang Mae than Gun Woo but I LIKE HIM (: HAHAHA I have a thing for 40 year old tortured & talented men after watching this drama. ARGH.

- They played a lot of classical music that I'm sure you'd like, like Faure's Pavane, Libertango, and CHOPIN!'s Impromptus in A minor (I think), and also due to Kang Mae's genius, at one point he uses 4"33 by John Cage (which the performers do not play any music at all!)

- Kang Mae marry me! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. No matter what I still think he's cute! With all the asshat attitudes and such but the way he conducts the orchestra... come on I want to be in the orchestra that he conducts! *squeeeeeeeeeeee*

One more picture of Kang Mae for me (: HAPPY! SO CUTE, I love this man.

- Oh there're having Beethoven Virus 2, Maestros in Europe (: Between Kang Mae and Maestro Jang/Jung? HAHAHA YAY hopefully Kang Mae would go with Ru Mi in this! :DDDDDDDDDD

*

This is why I longed to get into Mass Communication and not JC. I want to act. To experience the things that dramas have. Because those could never happen in real life, but only in dramas. (: Farfetched, I know. But it's like so exciting (minus the double takes, NGs...), and the friendships you forge while on set, the chance of expressing yourself... it's all so amazing. After Off Centre I fell in love with acting (: First Singaporean to act in a Korean drama! HAHAHAHAHAH YAY CAN'T WAIT.

2008-11-14T03:18:00.002+08:00

` 1138; - 너와 나 사이에

지훈 아저씨,

내 자기야, 잘 지냈어?
너무보고 싶었어.

내가 직접 당신을 구상중인, 함께 연기...
내가 알고 언젠가는 일어날 것이다.
난 그것 모두 최고가 될 짓이든 할 것입니다.

그저 당신과 함께하길.

내가 본 적이 증가했고, 나는 당신처럼 상승 싶어요.

내 친구는 나랑 같이 귀하의 애정에 대한 경쟁이다...

하지만 난 싸움을 포기하지 않을 것이다.

내가 그 일을 모두에 내 모든 노력에 놓을테니까.
내 피아노, 내 공부, 내 모델링 경력...
당신처럼되고 싶어요.

비록 내가 절정에 넌더리가있을 수있습니다 될 수 있도록 최선을 노력 할게요.

♥,

네 여동생에서,

여정.

2008-11-12T20:46:00.003+08:00

` 1137; - facade

I discovered another thing about Christian life when I thought about it today, how even Christians could proclaim that they are Christian but their attitude depicts otherwise.

I know this person for a while now, but now he's gone on to another clique after being too paranoid about something a person in his clique is saying about the both of us. Oh well. He attends church, he seemed to have a rather good walk with God when we talked. Does QT every night. Check. Walk with God strong? Check. I thought he was a rather nice guy but until we stopped talking, his attitude totally changed. He says things that I thought he would never say, as a Christian. I'm appalled.

If I were a new Christian, I'd be confused. Why this person, supposedly godly, turn on his back against another Christian? There's another person in my clique who's also a Christian and he turned against her, too. :/ I guess now the End Times is coming, as Jesus says in Matt 10:21 "Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death.

Oh well.

I guess now we just got to keep the faith.

No more running wild
I'm Yours for life
Well You got me here
You got me
I hear Your call tonight
Your heart is mine
Well You got me here
You got me

2008-11-12T01:09:00.005+08:00

` 1136; -

Was awesome. Avenue Q is a MUST WATCH, especially with Best Friend Faith to laugh with (:
She wanted to get the new urban male shirt that says "THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN" but her father didn't allow, HAHA.

Before Avenue Q, went to watch High School Musical 3 with Prisia (: And Zac Efron is cuteeeeeee. Changed my perceptions about angmohs already.

Finished reading Kamikaze Girls. :/ Baby, the Stars Shine Bright suddenly looked appealing. Considering Victorian Maiden or BTSSB, or maybe Metamorphose temps de fille? But Enfant is no for me since it's not from Japan. I'm considering Angelic Pretty... but Moi-meme-Moitie takes the top.

Argh, planning for a Lolita wardrobe suddenly seems so expensive. Dress, petticoats, everything, arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2008-11-10T23:42:00.002+08:00

` 1135; -

I can't help but feel envious of my brother. He has dinner every Saturday with his parents, without fail. I could see him rushing off to meet them after service, after administering his customary pat on my head and a smile and then sometimes I have the pang of jealousy right in my heart. But I shrug it off, and move on with my CG for dinner.

I went home, and asked my parents if we could have dinner together every Saturday or something, outside.

"Mom hey, want to have dinner together every Saturday?"
"No time lah. Busy. Earn money for you, you know? Always spend here, spend there, like that Crumpler bag in your room. Anyhow spend."
"Mom that's Ben's bag because he knew my bag spoilt that's why he lent it to me."
"Ahya, whatever, you always go shopping, cut hair..."
"Mom the last time I cut my hair to this stupid haircut was in July, and I didn't even go shopping at all since June, and I've been wearing the same old things again and again. And reality check, you cut my allowance by half."
"You always no time where got time to eat with you?! You got school, church, and tuition."

I can never understand.

I think that all of us, ultimately, just want to hear "I'm so proud of you." or any form of recognition so that we know that we're acknowledged and accepted by our parents. Our driving force behind everything is the same, to be known and loved by the people who brought us up.

But sometimes for some people, it's an arduous task.

2008-11-09T00:48:00.002+08:00

` 1134; -

(: What's left of us.

2008-11-08T13:48:00.005+08:00

` 1133; - that you would drift on memory bliss

Somehow you fluttered into my mind last night, as I slept. You, standing at the corner of an alleyway, leaning against a lamp post, leather jacket slung over one shoulder, deep in thought. I moved closer. I could not see your face, but I knew you were examining mine. I noticed that you were tall, taller than I had imagined you to be. You were older than me. I moved closer again. Your eyes bored through mine, searching, looking, longing. I knew who you were at that instant. I gasped, you nodded & smiled, as if you had planned for this chance all along, and the fact that my raison d'etre was in you. You were half right. I smiled back, as if agreeing. But suddenly you took my hand and ran with you, down the alley out of the other side and then down the Seine.

I couldn't imagine that I'd meet you at the City of Lights, because ours haven't even been ignited. We haven't even met. I knew you but you didn't know me. But as we ran past the bridge, I stopped you. You looked at me with a quizzical gaze. Why, you said. Why stop our childish escapades? I have waited so long for this; why stop it now? Why, chagiya, why?

I realized that this is just a temporary euphoria, because this was nothing but a dream, and you were so surreal, so far away, I said. But, familiar stranger, you got me there.

Before the worst, before we mend
Before our hearts decide
It's time to love again

2008-11-07T13:22:00.003+08:00

` 1132; -

ARGHHHH POPSEOUL YOU KEEL MAI EYES
it's for me alone to see, why you go post it up?! ):

Argh now the suspense of the magic stick is gone ))))):

* Ew & I was eating soba noodles when reading this... :(

Faith: @w@ it...it's...up... straight... huzzah
Naomi: NO HUZZAH.
Faith: I betcha he's thinking "Oh no a cute fangirl"
Naomi: NO it's "oh no naomi's here." "gotta perform."
Faith: THE SECOND SENTENCE WAS TOO MUCH! ALL SOLDIERS RETURN TO BUNKERS! RETREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!
Naomi: sorry Freudian slip
Faith: It lights up and glows for you to see

2008-11-06T21:37:00.002+08:00

` 1130; - Invincible Seo Yeojung

천하무적 서여정

Sometimes I have to remind myself who I really am when obstacles come.

2008-11-06T19:06:00.006+08:00

` 1130; - and damn you're free

Sorry, I'm not in Raffles Girls School, the school where you always want me to be. Sorry that I turned down the DSA to Raffles Junior College because I decided that I don't want to roast my brain for 2 years. I'm sorry, that I'm not someone pretty like Julia so you could parade me proudly in front of other people.

You may say sorry to me after you've said these, but sorry doesn't mean a thing when you repeat everything that I mentioned above every time you find something that you hate about me that you just have to say it. Might as well not apologize, I can take it, don't need your insincere sincerities. Too much of it given from the world, period.

Never mind, Holly, I can handle this crap.

2008-11-06T00:18:00.003+08:00

` 1129; -
I removed this post because I felt it was too contradictory.

2008-11-02T19:50:00.003+08:00

` 1128; - i hate being confused

It's hard to understand somehow people think do say feel
But now you got to do what you need to do
Check, no, yes

Naomi Jung, why do you have the weight of the world on your heart?

Ah, screw it.

*
Supposed to study with Ben and Cheryl but cancelled.
Rotted at home the whole day.

But suddenly my junior that I've never seen for 4 years talked to me on MSN & he said I was beautiful (he got girlfriend already hor, tsktsk)

(:

Thank Zhi Bin the IP Hwa Chong student mugger I owe you one.

2008-11-02T13:19:00.003+08:00

` 1127; -

Joyce: "What if Rain marries someone else ah."
Me: "I'd fly to Korea ~~with a parang and gatecrash his wedding~~ marry someone else handsomer/godlier/muscular than him HOHOHO"
Joyce: "Haha. Really difficult to marry him as in real life but not exactly impossible lah!"

*this is from a really long time ago*

Me: "Don't insult Hitler ok, he's so cute, like a teddy bear! ^_^"
Faith: "Hitler has only one ball."
Me: "SO?"
Faith: "Face it. Okay, look. Hitler has one. Rain has two, with a magic stick. Make your choice."
Me: "PUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA"

* before biology O level paper*

*Bryan walks over with file in hand*

Guan Hui: "Eh Mr A1 come le. Bryan, those are Social Studies notes right." (Because Social Studies is on Monday while Bio is on Friday, shows that Bryan doesn't need to read anything because he's a pro at Bio)
Bryan (still oblivious): "Huh? No these are Bio notes. Oh yeah the clitoris in the flower ah, *starts to spew out random bio info that we all don't know*"
Guan Hui: "EH, get lost la, so smart already. I want to study my lanjiao and cheebye." *flips to Sexual Reproduction chapter*

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG SO FUNNY. I nearly dislocated my jaw laughing like mad. I know it's vulgar but it's so freaking funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Okay I need to "Socialise with my studies" as Joyce calls it, for Faith says that Rain loves smart girls.

Not exactly the glam-est picture but he's so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee O^.^O
Fresh Woman Fresh Woman!

2008-11-01T21:47:00.003+08:00

` 1126; - when the lights fade to grey

I just reached home and I figured I should blog about this. It's so powerful, so tangible.

On the bus home I kept thinking of Pastor Aries' sermon last week, about Andrew. First, we must be a servant if we want to become great. And what god has started in us He will finish.

I've always thought I'd live an 8 to 5 life in the future, go home, take care of the kids, cook for husband, do work, watch TV, sleep. Mundane, much? But after that my interest in the media grew. I saw what Sun Ho did in China when my oldest cousin brought me to CHC and I told myself I was going to do that in the future. When I was young, my dream was to buy sacks of rice and via helicopter drop them into Africa for them to eat. Naive, but still.

Then God told me, "You're going to do something greater. Media."

He then opened the chance for me to go to Singapore's Brainiest, Champs Challenge, and now, the chance to study Mass Communication at Ngee Ann. I could never thank Him enough.

Church wise, I don't think I can become a leader. Like those CGLs, TLs, or even a PTL. I don't think I have the ability to lead, like Gavin. He just got saved and within 4 months in his church, he's a Care Group leader. I think I'll serve behind the scenes. Like Andrew.

Andrew brought Simon Peter to Jesus and Jesus told Simon Peter that He is going to build churches on Peter. Andrew knew from then on that he's just not Peter. He just isn't. But he was happy to serve by the sidelines.

That just hit me. I knew a long time ago that I don't have the capacity to be a leader or to lead people. The only leading I can do is to lead them to Christ.

That is what I want to do. I want to lead celebrities to Christ, to heal those broken souls to a period of healing that only Jesus can provide. To share my story to the people. To see them grow in God. Yes, I would appear worldy, sing secular songs, do secular photoshoots, but I'll live a godly life. Without fornication and everything that the entertainment industry lavishly provides with.

I can't wait to make a difference in other people's life. It's so exciting.

"Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all." - Proverbs 31:29

2008-10-31T17:29:00.003+08:00

` 1025; - the real sound from my (heart)

"you make me asphyxiate"
was what was supposed to be subtly mentioned but not
forgetting
releasing
liberating
entreating

"it was all but just a dream now"
you mentioned?
listened to the whisper warm wet
much like your little spies creeping crawling
all over this cursed earth

seeking touching loving
but why are you so far away?
stretching out and reaching up
it can't be, oh, but all a mirage vision impression

can't consider it as a story of love
nor hate but all that is
is gone somewhere, do we know?
our secret refuge, sanctuary
they can't find us, my love, yes they can't

enough of the flashlights
but not enough of your (imaginary) love that I feed on

2008-10-30T00:20:00.003+08:00

` 1124; - and I swear

My husband will never, ever, ever, for the love of God, be like him.

SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP,HUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP,SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP. I NEED TO STUDY.

2008-10-28T11:49:00.003+08:00

` 1123; -

Annyeong Haseyo just a quickie.

History paper's starting in like 2 hour's time and I'm still blogging. I haven't finished memorising Cold War and Gorbachev's reforms but I can memorise it soon. I hope that Korean War/Hitler would come out for SBQ and Stalin/Cold War/Facist Japan would come out in SEQ. I haven't memorised everything except for Stalin and Hitler oh God help me.

But anyway I'm taking a break for like 5 minutes.

(:

HISTORY FTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

& just to make me feel better, I'm posting pics of my boys, (well technically one's mine and the other is a member of a hiphop group that I totally love) here for me and you to see :D I'm happy happy happy when I see my favourite husband RAIN JEONG (uh I only have one, make that two if you count Jesus), and my all time favourite rapper/songwriter TABLOOOOOO from Epik High *insert big grin here*

My boyzXzXzxZxxXzxZXZxzXzx~! I'm so gna meet them someday yo. :D
Now it's back to the evil Stalin, Hitler and the awesome Gorbi (:

2008-10-25T21:34:00.003+08:00

` 1122; - well you got me here

These 2 weeks opened up my eyes. I have seen the different facades people can pull off, and how just mere words can hurt a person in so many ways, the childishness of some people who assume too much. But in all I've grown through this, I've learnt to think more like Christ, and how forgiveness needs to be freely given, not withheld. I've also learned that I need to really, shut up, and not talk at all. Jesus kept quiet and talked at the right time. I feel like slapping and punching some people but God told me He has something in store for them. Something bad? I don't know. But I'll follow Isaiah 50:7-9 and I'll be alright (:

I think to be like Christ in this point of my life would bring me far. Even when Judas betrayed Him, He didn't do anything to him. It's terribly hard, but hey, if Jesus can do it, I can. In the entertainment industry it's gonna get tougher but now it's a time to toughen me up (: I'm not going to fail this time, Lord!

Saw Sun (Ho Yeow Sun, Pastor Kong's wife)'s video on her humanitarian work in China and I told myself, I'm going to do that too (:

Okay I'm going to bathe and schmooze in Hitler's arms 8) History FTW.

2008-10-24T17:48:00.003+08:00

` 1121; - you get what I mean when I say

I hate math

我讨厌数学

난 수학이 싫어

私は数学が嫌い

Je déteste les mathématiques

Inhoan matematiikkaa

Μισώ τα μαθηματικά

मैं गणित से नफरत है

Odio la matematica

Ich hasse Mathematik

Jeg hater matte

Я ненавижу математику

Tôi ghét môn Toán

*&^#%*^%)(*&^%)*^%)#*&^%)*&%#^~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>:{

2008-10-21T22:20:00.002+08:00

` 1120; - make it or break it

Life has been pretty stressed right now.
The first 2 papers weren't too bad. Really.

I was just reading an interview that Mr Jeong gave and I have to say I will answer those questions in another way. Not saying that what he said was wrong, but since he hasn't known Christ yet, it's understandable.

Frankly speaking, my motivation to keep going on in this school, in the midst of juvenile quarrels, is my growth in God, and the thoughts of my amazing future. For example, someone really disappointed me, and he did something he shouldn't have done. He cut off all contact with me because Someone asked him to (or rather, forced him to). But I think to myself. "I'm going to be a World Star. I'm going to be someone. I will work hard and show them, I will prove it to them I can be someone someday. But first I got to act like I am one."

That really kept me going on. I would like to answer interview questions like that.

I'm not satisfied with just being highest in Literature and Best Debater. I'm going on, going on. I'm going to become the best export to anywhere in the entertainment industry that Singapore has ever produced (just that I'm going to be signed up under a Korean company). I want to be like Mr Jeong, or even better.

Now I'm working towards building my character, learning Korean, and studying. I want to be like that, to show that God actually helps people, He builds the unworthy up to be someone He wants to show the world.

Tolerance, Toil, Work, Pray. Not necessarily in that order.

2008-10-21T00:38:00.005+08:00

` 1119; - to my friends

I love (not necessarily in order): Faith, Prisia, Ben, Daniel Park, Vivian and Wanwen to the max.
They're really supportive and they have been my Tonning Partners for the last few weeks. They'd even message me hourly to cheer me up and just to say jiayou. Vivian even spent the whole night mugging with me at Macdonalds (PLS DON'T STAY PAST 3 YOU'LL CONK THE WHOLE DAY AFTER). I love you all.

Me: "My. Eyes. Are. Failing. Me."

Faith (texts back): "WORK TOIL STRIVE!!!!!! RAIN LOVES SMART GIRLS!!!!!!!!!"

*

Daniel: "AJA AJA! PHILIPPIANS 4:13! WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU! REMEMBER BI!"

Me: "OMGZXZXZXZ HOW YOU KNOW I LIKE RAIN?!"

Daniel: "So obvious."

Me: "-.-"

Daniel:

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD you guys never fail to make me laugh.

*

And Rain's "Fresh Woman" is stuck in my head. Help.

And a final note from me:

がんばって!!!!!!
아자 아자!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-20T16:45:00.005+08:00

` 1118; - REVIVAL WOOHOO

MAI LOVELAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY HOMIES :D

Just by looking at these pictures, I can really be happy. Happy, not satisfied.
Just like a year and a half ago, Esther and I were worshipping alone, at the staircase near the Science Block, just writing down names for potential friends and simply praying for God's hands over our school. Especially I was someone no one liked. But I can safely say that I have faith.

And when God says He gives abundantly, He really means business.

And there are more people actually. They couldn't turn up but hey, it's rapidly growing and expanding. Hougang Secondary power. Even there're devils trying to tear me/us/whatever down, God and I would not let it happen.

This shows that in a school like mine, under dreary circumstances, it is easy, it is possible. Growth is easy. Revival is possible. All that matters is how much you want it to happen. No excuses here.

Maybe God gave me the gift of evangalism. He has shown me that even in a difficult school I could still win souls for Him. Perhaps He is preparing me for something even bigger. Somewhere that I would face even more persecution. Somewhere that people are so mixed up they forget about being pure in the first place. Somewhere where malice turns into misery and eventually dissipates into suicide.

But if I can bring revival to my school with the help of Christ Jesus, it means that you can too.
Nope, no superpowers involved.

Well I've got a story to tell
About the King above all kings
You spoke for peace, hope, love and justice
Things that we all need today
You let a broken generation
Become a dancing generation
This is revival generation
You may not hear it on the radio
But you can feel it on the air

Revival town
That's what they're calling this place now

2008-10-16T23:35:00.005+08:00

` 1117; - i'll make it naomism

I'll be back, y'all.

*
[EDIT]

Super funny.
Trisha scared me that Rain was actually going to get married this year or next.
And my reaction was super big and she totally didn't expect it, haha.

"WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!?!?! HE HASN'T MET ME YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yeah you get the idea.
But then Soolan and Jinzhi confirmed that it was a joke HOHOHO
Okay 5 years to break into the industry!

: D

Anyway I am happy to pass the limits that I've been setting for myself in my QT. I used to only pray for 5 minutes straight and I'll feel tired, but I've been increasing 5 minutes everyday, and now I can pass the 10 minute barrier. More to come.

For if I'm not strong in my spiritual life, how am I going to be strong in a complicated industry?

[/EDIT]

[EDIT on 20/10/08]

I love love LOVE the new album.
Doesn't sound very JYP because JYP's songs for Rain is like "I'm A MAN IN YOUR FACE" kind of thing but here he has subtle sensual stuff which is good for me : D

I'm a very happy girl.

Check out Rainism here:

AND I thought one line was 너의 몸 속안에 돌고 있는 나의 "my majesty" BUT NO.
The lyrics were 너의 몸 속안에 돌고 있는 나의 magic stick!!!!!!!!!

WHAT?!?!?!? Yeah he dances with the glowing lightsaber but...
I read the korean words before that, and it registered.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Go google translate yourself if you wish.
But he was very sensual on stage. Me like. But I was half laughing and half in awe. HOHOHO

[/EDIT]

2008-10-14T01:38:00.005+08:00

` 1116; - i'm the (super)girl

Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God Deuteronomy 28:13 "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God

This pretty much sums up my life right now.
Mugging hard on every side
Tired but I will press on for everything is for His glory, not mine
To go to Ngee Ann Polytechnic then Stanford University/University of Melbourne
whichever

Mugging

Annyeonghi kaseyo I need to do my biology

2008-10-13T01:17:00.005+08:00

` 1115; - can'tstoplistening

이노래는 진실했던 사랑이야기
모든걸 다 바쳤던 나의 이야기
하지만 이젠 끝을 모두 맺어버린
지나간 나의 사랑이야
I love you 아직도 사랑해...

HOHOHO. I can't wait for...

my love, 내 열 온 무기로...

2008-10-12T01:04:00.002+08:00

` 1114; -

Come live in me
all my life take over
come breathe in me
and I will rise on eagle's wings

2008-10-08T22:47:00.004+08:00

` 1113; - in You, I find my peace

(Key to my heart)

Oh come, You will
The Owner of my spirit, my heart
Imperfections tacked to a blank wall
Yet whitewashed over with Your blood

Day by day I seep in, more, deeper
Rejuvenating, revitalizing, tantalizing, You are

You're the well where my love springs from
Hold me steady, my Lover of souls

eternally,

(for a comma says that it isn't going to end so soon
we still have many more to build this Kingdom)

*

On a sidenote, I am NOT going to name my children April, May, June and Armageddon.

Musette Claire.
Musette Claire.

I like it already.
Welcome to the world, like say, 10 years later, Musette.
I can't wait to see how you look like, how church would have grown (I think it'll be past 10 000), how everything would have changed. For the better.

The future's going to be amazing.

2008-10-08T12:03:00.003+08:00

` 1112; - love story (II)

HAHAHA hey kids here's the new part 2 of the teaser for Love Story from le fiance.

And the pictures.

I'm very excited.
NAOMISM AND RAINISM! HOHOHOHO.

2008-10-08T00:25:00.005+08:00

` 1111; - You're the love of my life

My love, my all, my everything, my spiritual home.

I was reading Peifen's blog and I skipped to Ivan's blog. Immediately I could tell the difference. These people are so real. They tell it like it is, they are transparent, like a no-holds-barred kind of attitude. That's what I like about my church. No one lies, no one does anything to hurt another. But that's for granted in the world. In the world, if you are honest with someone, they either think that you're being fake (ironic, eh) or they use it as a chance to attack you just because they've been hurt themselves.

I love this bubble world that I'm living in, and I will cultivate that bubble world to heal broken hearts, wounds, once-bitten-twice-shy mentalities and just bring them back to life again. I love this place, and most of all I love the Saviour who created everything just for you and me.

Looking back into the past, I can safely say that I love Jesus and this decision has never failed me before. It's an ardious journey but the feeling and the relationship that I really have with my heavenly Father makes it worthwhile. I really want to share this goodness to everyone, that explains why I would want to go into the media industry. Because you see, in the media industry, it's notorious for broken hearts, betrayal, divorce, loneliness and recently, suicide (like the Korean media world). I think God will use me to heal them, no? Just imagine... it'll be so cool.

Call me crazy, but at least I have something to be crazy about.
I see myself being pure in a corrupt industry, being God's beacon in the dark. Oh Lord, use me as You will.

I found my dad's old classical guitar! It hasn't told me anything yet because I haven't really played it... one string is broken and the guitar bag is well-used... after O Levels I'll go with Zhi Yi, Sylvia and Cindy to get new strings and polish and picks and a new bag. Well I'll ask it whether it is a girl or a guy... I have a feeling it's a guy. But anyhow, it's a sister/brother with my piano! Same manufacturer... Yamaha. Anyway when I was playing the piano, it told me it's name is Jacqueline... not Jackie. Jacqueline Yamashita Yamaha. WOAH. My guitar's surname is going to be Yamaha too... I'm sure of it. If it's a guy it can marry Sylvia's Chanel! HAHAHAHAHAHHA

Okay I'm going craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy.

I'm off to do QT even though it's 12:41 in the night, after a marathon session with Lynn at NYJC (I'll post about that some other time, it's worthwhile and great to study there), another physical marathon walking session with Sylvia and Shu Yi (from NYJC, to the bus stop at Serangoon Stadium, to the Richards Avenue Park near Cheese's house) and back home. I'm knackered. But as long as the spirit is willing, the flesh will follow.

For some reason Hati Hamba (Servant's Heart) is replaying again and again in my head. Maybe I'll sing it for QT later...

gdnight & gdbye

2008-10-07T00:53:00.004+08:00

` 1110; - WHINE WHINE

That hiatus thing doesn't work very well aye.
But I still have time to post while I should be mugging.
Bad Naomi, bad bad Naomi
But hey I miss typing.
Let's hope the mega Joss Sticks sessions at Miss Loi's helps
With Cheryl Samantha Stanley Clare Ethan Marcus and Kangkang
Oh Ben's going to kill me for calling him Kangkang but I DON'T CARE HAHA

Oh no I'm typing like a bimbo

You, know, bimbooooo? *twirls hair*

Ting Wei will be so proud of me

Yeah, like, so, whatever?

I need eyedrops

No I really need The Brain Drop

Since my brain is being squeezed dry by Stalin Hitler Trigo Cyclic Quad Redox Reproduction

But srsly an OSIM portable would be lovely

Attached to the bus seat to I can have a relaxing zap every morning

OHHHHHHHHHHH! I KNOW!

Maybe you could ship Mr Jeong Ji Hoon to be my personal masseuse.

No that'll be bad. He's not even my husband, YET. Chemistry before Biology, yo.

Oh noes what's happening to me

But you get what I mean, like, totally

I was thinking of my future with Cheryl Thng and I came out with this:
I am going to play for a band called the Hoohas
I'll be playing the sitar while Jihoon's going to play the Sarod
We'll ride off into the sunset on a camel nd we'll sing shanties to each other all day

and name our children April, May, June and Armaggeddon.

Interesting, no?

Ahyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

qwertyuioplkjhgfdsazxcvbnmnbvcxzasdfghjklpoiuytrewq

*MUG*

2008-10-06T21:10:00.006+08:00

` 1109; - my taboo love, mr jeong jihoon♡

I really cannot tahan already, need to post Chagiya's picture up, or not I'll be delirious.
I think we really flow too much.
I mentioned once that I want my first album to be called Naomism, and now his 5th album is called RAINISM (레이니즘)!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!

I don't know if this is a case of IMITATION IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF FLATTERY or we just plain flow and he's gonna come to HOGC and marry me kinda thing but I choose to believe it's the latter. I mean, must be POSITIVE!

And now gimme gimme gimme ~~this~~ a man after midnight!

Album art:

NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU it's not suited, UGLYYYYYYYYYYY.
First one makes him look super cyborg, and the second one is just WRONGGGGGGG.

(I think everyone's going to be all, "OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...... WHATEVER~" and just skip this to the other redundant things)

But!
Naomi is here to save the day!

:D
SWOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
I wonder if I could be in his team or something. But what does it take?
Determination? Korean?
I want to continue Korean lessonssssss ):

$$ faster comeeee ):

2008-10-05T19:35:00.004+08:00

` 1108; - the dark without Your light

It's for freedom that Christ has set us free
I live for You
And not for me, anymore
And your mercy is new with every day
No longer will I forfeit grace
I'll follow You and live by faith

If not for love,
where would I be if not for love?
If not for grace
Where would I be if not for grace?

2008-10-05T01:37:00.002+08:00

` 1107; - BFF (i)

Hello world, this is one of my bestest best friends, confidante, fellow CG mate, keesiao-er... I could list a whole string of adjectives but well you get the point.

We're on the same frequency most of the time - the sudden impromptu comments (which actually, happen at the same time), the same weird fetishes (MAMMA MIA!), and the nonsense we share. Even she's a year older than me, she makes me feel real old, like I'm already in Poly (she lends me her Mac, shhhh!) . But nonsense aside, she grows in God with me, encourages me when I'm down with her smiley face (she never gets angry).

I love youuuuuuuuuuuuu, Chia Sushian. Always will, let's grow the CG, CeG, Zone, Church. We will be leaders in this House. And yeah I love you!

:D

2008-10-04T03:23:00.003+08:00

` 1106; - RIP

Another celebrity bites the dust.

RIP, Choi Jin-shil.

She committed suicide because of internet remarks and rumors that she lent Ahn Jae Hwan, a fellow actor, US 2 mil to clear his debts... and which eventually led to his demise because he couldn't repay every single debt and this is too much for him... she leaves behind two children.

If one aspires to make it big in the korean entertainment industry, you must be able to handle a lot of flak. Lots of celebs have been committing suicide because of negative comments, derogatory terms and everything. Like U-nee, Jeong Da Bin...

Perhaps now God is giving me the training ground in this aspect, the real battle comes later, when I'm 20. They need God in there, I know.

Please, let's go through the last 3 months of 2008 without any more deaths. The passing of Turtleman, Kim Minsoo, Lee Eon, Ahn Jae Hwan... no more, no more.

2008-10-04T02:29:00.003+08:00

` 1105; - don't go wasting your emotion

~~I think he caught my eye because~~

~~I don't know what to say to him but I~~

~~I feel like rushing over and telling you that~~

I don't know how it came but it just came. Maybe it was your eyes, the way they light up whenever I do something stupid, or when I say something stupid to you. Or was it your patience when I get pissed at life, or simply, at math? Could it be your little quirks, your weird fetish? However I, no matter, I think I like you. A lot. But I don't think it could work out, so it'll remain an unrequited one for a while. A very long while. But unrequited love doesn't work out for me all the time. Every time I see you I'm happy, but I think you're happiest when you're with her and I don't think it's wise to do anything to you when she has you. I think she must be a very lucky person. I think I've told you that before, haven't I?

I think it's all funny, how I thought you were soooooo annoying and then the hormones take over. I know that the attraction won't be forever, but allow me to savour it while it lasts (which won't be very long, I hope). Maybe the reason why you aren't avaliable at this moment because God has planned someone even better than you for me? I think that's the case, according to Josh Harris.

I shall not waste all my thoughts on you (sorry friend but that's the way it is) and I shall shift my braincells to do something more productive, like memorising a bio chapter or continue the crusade on the sleeping cells. Well, if you chance upon my blog and read this, please go on thinking it isn't you because it is all about you.

Sometimes, I wish I was Elizabeth Bennet, Fanny Price, or any heroine Jane Austen's brillant mind could come out with. Their unrequited love eventually becomes one of requited. I percieve that I want to experience this so much that I want to act in drama serials (Korean please). But sometimes my heart does flit, only briefly so. I think I shall be pious from now on. Minus the chastity belt.

Hello, you, can you hear my heart today?

But... give me Jeong Ji Hoon any time, hands down.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

2008-10-02T19:41:00.002+08:00

` 1104; - I wish you were a stranger I could disengage

I have never really hated people.

But you're one exception. I used to love you, not in that way, but as a brother, and a friend. Or so I thought. When I see you, my heart wells with immense pity and loathing, all in a lethal combination of seething apathy. Every. Single. Time, Now. I feel like shouting sense into you but hey, why waste my time on someone who's so hypocritical? I'm so not gonna waste my time on someone who doesn't stand up for his own convictions. You try to demean me. Saying that my Biology isn't good and you heard it from Someone. I can't go into Ngee Ann Poly? Stuff yourself.

You've been missing ever since The Reform. Conviction, much? Don't think you're indispensable. We don't need you, or, rather, I DON'T NEED YOU. ANYMORE. Noticed, that after you ignored me I was left to start a new all over again? You were nice, the best friend I had. You're gone. But a la the phoenix, I found new friends, Clique 5, and a whole new bunch of awesomeness that you can't even match up even though you try. Ever since you got It, you've been distancing yourself from everything. Who cares. You've got It, go show your love to It like you want to.

I've grown up ever since, spiritually and emotionally. I found new friends. I learnt to treasure every single one now. I used to treasure only you. Now I have more which make me really happy. But are you happy? Unreal.

But today, even though I had a splitting migraine, I still held up my hand to greet you with the hi-5, like in the old days. You just walked past, not even looking at me.

And that was then I really hated you.

2008-10-02T13:37:00.003+08:00

` 1103; - :D

Chagiya's 5 ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Good job to enlist Ha Jiwon on it, an A Lister, as always.
But I'll be there soon, just you wait.

I'm not particularly fond of sad ballads but this is okay, so far so good. I only like ballads from Epik High.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
Will post a revew of it when Hyun ships it to me from Korea (:

2008-10-02T00:55:00.002+08:00

` 1102; -

Staying up late today to do Biology.
I (really hope that I) can do it!!!!!!!!!!!

Because (I choose to believe that) I AM TEH L33T ALL YOU N00BS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!1111!!!!

Christine and Faith is staying up with me to study, poor dears.

2008-09-29T21:24:00.000+08:00

` 1101; - it was not a beautiful mistake

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes.. the ones who see things differently - they're not fond of rules.. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things.. they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."

-Steve Jobs

2008-09-28T16:17:00.004+08:00

` 1100; - fill my life to overflow

I have been super irritated by this person lately... so annoying.

Jael and I concluded that she hating Christianity is like, for example,

Naomi: "Rain, I love you but I hate the nose on your face."
Rain: "?!?!?!?!?"

Yeah you get the idea.

So irritating!!!!! ): ):
Never mind, she's an elephant in my brain and I'll pull her out and return her to Noah's Ark!

*

Be in the world but not of the world. Sounds easy but actually it is not. As I grow up and become more integrated into society, I can see the different facets of people. Kinda cool actually because I can know and understand how people think. Bur sometimes I don't understand at all. Not everything in this world is sweet, I realised.

We choose the people to hang out with, and the more we hang out with them, we will naturally get the same flow. For example, if you hang out with people who sniff glue, you may say, "Oh I don't think I will." But slowly you will find yourself getting interested in it and soon you'll start sniffing too. It's scary if someone makes friends with you just because they're interested about what benefit you'll bring them. I really hope I don't get a friend like that. And if I did I'll bring them to God hahahahahah.

Anyway.

Talked to Chew today and I received a confirmation! :D
God told me that i have the gift of evangelism and Chew was all, "Yes I think you have the spiritual gift..." and I was all WOAH!
God's gonna use me in the entertainment world, where people are falling from grace.
He's going to use me to be affluent to influence.
The future is amazing, yo.

And she said that Best Friend Benjaminnnnnn can be given followup in 2 weeks time!!!!!
WOOHOO I SEE YOU IN SOUND MINISTRY ALREADY BEST FRIEND (:
And Hougang Sec is expanding.
I challenged Jia Jia, Jia En and Kengie to have 20 by End of Year. HAHAHAHHHHH.
Yesterday in B40 alone, there were like 11 HOUGANG SEC PEOPLE.
To think that more than a year ago, there were only Esther and I.
Enlarge and Expand!

Exams, exams, exciting.
Academic Excellence, and the 7 points You've promised me, oh God.

*

Ivannnn faster come back from ARMY!
WO MEN HEN XIANG NI. HAHAHA
And this is the only picture I have with you, I know it's super old >.<

2008-09-26T00:45:00.003+08:00

` 1099; - Jesus it is you

I got a revelation today.

I was just browsing through POPSEOUL! like I always do, and I saw one of the celebrities that I really respected - Lee Hyori - like in this hot tub with a chaebol's (conglomerate, ie. the son of Bill Gates) son. And they aren't even married or anything like that.

Lee Hyori is apparently a Christian.

:/

He then posed a challenge to me: "Are you still going to uphold my image through you even though you're in there? You are my ambassador, and when people know that you're my Daughter and you act like that, what would they think?"

I knew, I have to start building up my prayer life... and do everything God wants me to do to the fullest...

2008-09-25T14:02:00.001+08:00

` 1098; - hello, goodbye

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye."
"on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."

- Antoine de Saint Exupéry; The Little Prince

*

Indefinite H I A T U S

Alright, I need to take my O Levels, and then some.

誰よりも遠くへ
夢なら醒めないで
この空の向こうへ
「you can see the another world」

Farther than anyone else
If it's a dream then don't wake up
If you turn towards the sky
"you can see the another world"

2008-09-25T13:57:00.002+08:00

` 1097; - but that's disregard

Hyun called me from Korea and we talked for the longest time in like, say, since that time? He's in like Seoul University studying Dentistry and I'm so happy for him (: Seoul University's like the best in the country (I think, according to Daniel Park) and I'm sure he can become a successful dentist one day.

I was surprised when he sent me like all his prelim papers and stuff from when he was Sec 4, knowing that I am taking my O Levels this year.

Hyun: "Chagiya, those are the stuffs that you need..."
Me: "O.O!"

I miss Hyun a lot, my best best bestest friend (:

The Clique 5 is love.
I'm meeting Cheryl tomorrow for sashimi, Marcus and Samantha for tuition and Ben for dinner.
Sweet, love.

2008-09-24T23:56:00.003+08:00

` 1096; - oh hello it's you again

Life has been okay so far, with me breaking this hiatus even more than naught. Tuition Clique's been renamed to the Clique 5 (HAHAHA THAT WAS THOUGHT UP BY ME :D) and I love eating dinner with the boys - Marcus and Benjamin, like almost every day because they crack me up so much, so much. Marcus with his stupid "I DON'T LIKE JULIAN" and Benjamin's Toilet Fetish are the love, mmmmmkay boys will be boys.

*

I hate the feeling of being neglected.
Neglection =/= Being Alone.

Sometimes, all you want is someone just calling your name. It makes you happy. I'm not just a mere number, darn it. Even football players, even though they're part of a team, they have their names printed on the back of their jerseys so people can know who they are. When ey score a goal, the whole team is lauded, because they play a part in helping that person to score, be it defending the goal or passing the ball.

They get encouraged by the people and their coach, or not they'll face mental burnout.

I feel stressed out, burnt out, whatever you call it. It's like, when I'm back to schooling, every touch is lost. No lunch dates, smses, nothing. Say, the last time I've talked is like, 2 weeks. Every conversation is words being left unsaid.

It's like the Gao Ning Ping Pong without a coach scandal all over again.

Just in case you've forgotten who I am, hello, I am Naomi Seow. Remember me?

I doubt you do. You only call me if you want me to do something. Team, much? Bullshit.

2008-09-17T23:12:00.004+08:00

` 1095; - lights of my life

I love Tuition Clique to the max.

Marcus, Benjamin, Samantha, Cheryl, I love youuuuuuuuuuuu all and I know you love me too!

2008-09-15T18:17:00.009+08:00

` 1094; - bara no konrei

Photos we took at Victoria Concert Hall, Asian Civilisations Museum, & Singapore River after Jingna's exhibition:

2008-09-14T21:44:00.003+08:00

` 1093; - kismet III

A split second lack of attention.

You've seen him before. In your dreams, in the depths of your soul. But you can't decipher who he really is. Regardless, you knew he was The One, somehow. You'd fantasize about him every single night, day, afternoon, and all that jazz. Tall, well-built, aquiline nose, small yet twinkling eyes, well muscled. Older and wiser, you wished. Your Adonis. Nothing more, no less either.

*

You've seen her before. In your thoughts, she's there. You see her everywhere. On the streets of Myeongdong or even Orchard Road, you crane your neck to catch a little glimpse of her, even though you do not know her at all. But you knew, she was The One, somehow. The imaginary She was relatively tall, the crown of her head barely reaching your shoulders. Young and full of sprite, maybe. Long, hazel hair cascaded past her sculptured shoulders and her internal double-eyelidded eyes nearly induced a drunken stupor of sorts within your soul. Your Venus. Nothing more, no less either.

*

At the corner, where your eyes met, you both had your chance.

2008-09-14T01:27:00.003+08:00

` 1092; - you called me beautiful

"Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend."

- Charlie; The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chobosky

2008-09-13T12:57:00.003+08:00

` 1091; -

Went to Something Beautiful yesterday and met a friend (:
Yiyun and I share the same passion in Japanese stuffs & I'm looking forward to the EGL shoots next year! YAY.

Had our mega camwhore session at the Singapore River and at Victoria Concert Hall before heading down to Suntec for Ben&Jerry's ice cream.

(:

*

Over the past one week, thank you all for messaging me, calling me, and I am so touched by the number of smses I get. I try to thank all of you personally and on my blog, hopefully you'll read it somehow.

To God - thank You for picking me up every single time I stumble and through this I've stumbled, scraped my knees and disfigured my face but You still loved me.

And for the bf who never fails to call/message me everyday, make me smile, and just being there for me - I owe you so much, so much. I love you, always will. 정말 너무 사랑해 알 수 있는데, 전 이미 당신합니다.

For the other bf of half a decade - I don't want you to go to Australia. Who's going to laugh with me and just connect so easily with me? Only you babe. But thanks for the fun times yesterday night at Clarke Quay.

For the Dear Leader - I love you, thank you for your encouraging messages, and every single thing to ensure that I've grown in God. (: Muchas gracias.

For basically everyone else - It makes me happy that so much people came to support me in this time of need, grief and melancholy. My heart's all yours, forever.

*

&, to you again, I'm reading every sentence, I'm replaying the dialogue a million times in my head, to convince myself that you're real, you're here and you're just with me.
That our conversation was not a dream.

And I can breathe easy again, for when you're there, I catch my breath.

2008-09-10T15:42:00.003+08:00

` 1090; -

I love Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.
I'll marry you, korea-boy, if you get me one of these.
Wait, I don't even know you yet. :/

2008-09-10T15:19:00.002+08:00

` 1089; - far from our terminus ad quem

I see myself in a penthouse/bungalow (preferably next to a sea or something) , walking around, lounging on the white suede sofa that swallows me up the very instant I sit on it. After that, I get up, walk to the computer table and switch on my Macbook (which would be like ver 4.0 by that time), get a granola bar from the red fridge. It may be 4 months to my next album, and tonight is the night that I will return to news broadcast. I need to get ready for it.

Word after word appear on the screen as I type my next speech/song/sermon/news article, and the microwave pings softly. Song after song wafts out from the speakers and the clacking of the keyboard becomes like a stoic rhythm, one after the other, pausing only when I am thinking of something.

I get up, open the door that leads to the garden outside. The pleasent sea breeze greets me and plays with my hair as I stand there, admiring the view that money could never buy. Because it is God's gift to you and me. I feel someone or something hug me from behind, and when I look up, it's korea-boy. (: I give him a smile as big as this

:D

or even wider. korea-boy smiles back and we, korea-boy and singapore-girl, look out at the sea, thinking in tandem.

Dreams are made of these.

2008-09-09T13:51:00.001+08:00

` 1088; -

Everything about grandma is at Shu Xian Gor's blog.

I can't say anything much.
I miss you.

2008-09-08T13:21:00.003+08:00

` 1087; - 당신는 beautiful mind

저 달빛속에 멈춰진 시간
모든 시작은 끝이기도 해
늘 마지막인듯이 기도해
끝없는 어둠속에 달리는 내 마음
모든 시작은 끝이기도 해...

Naomi, hwaiting.
Chem, here I come.

2008-09-08T00:31:00.005+08:00

` 1086; - but suddenly

This period of time allowed me to reflect and I daresay it has been quite a carthatic experience. Thoughts of the other kind started to creep into my mind. Those little spies. Very Poignant Ones, at that. But they can be subdued. By Jesus, no one else.

I looked at the bright canary yellow hangings surrounding her, with Buddhist inscriptions all around and the slightly pungent smell of incense wafting from the joss sticks hitting my nostrils around the very same time as my thoughts penetrating my mind. I miss her so much, I realised. All the times that I have shared with her will be nothing but pleasant memories in my mind. It seemed like just yesterday she was up and about, coming over to my house to talk to me, while I was doing homework. And being the person I was, I didn't offer her anything to drink. She sat there, observing me as I did my homework before finally saying, "Guai guai du shu." Work hard.

Another incident that was so rooted in my mind was the time when my parents told my relatives that I was in Singapore's Brainiest and everyone immediately switched on and tuned in to that channel. She did so too. Even though she did not understand a word of English (the only one being "si-team", which means STEAM. As in steamed buns), she sat there for the whole one hour, watching me answer, smiling at me every single time I was on air.

One of the reasons why I want to be a celebrity is that I would like her to see me on TV, watching me act alongside Rain and Kwon Sang Woo and Hyun Bin, and smiling as I do my thang on international television. She loves to watch dramas, faithfully following every single series. I want her to see me on one of those and I know she would like me in it. I can feel it.

In times like these, I may seem strong on the outside. But one moment in time, the memories hit me. So strongly that I somehow succumb. The sense of loss is so tangible, to the extent that breathing seems practically impossible and sane becomes a non-existent word in Oxford's Dictionary.

I look at the gentle tendrils of smoke emitting from the joss stick and it wafts through the air, like a slack marionette string. Is it the very essence of the rosewood being spirited away? Are my thoughts able to follow it?

I miss her so much.

2008-09-07T23:02:00.002+08:00

` 1085; - it's surreal

I guess the perpetual ennui is coming to an end.
Those who know what happened, thank you for all your messages and condolences and sympathies. I acknowledge it and thank you very much, you have all of my love.

Ben - the perpetual best friend since one month and thank you so much; making me laugh uncontrollably during tuition and after tuition, crapping with me at the worst possible time and just calling me pretty (even though I don't know if it's true or not or maybe you're just flattering me) and just being there - even at 330 in the morning, talking about exchanging surnames. No, Naomi Shu and Benjamin Seow just don't cut it. Love, love.

Marcus - another joker in tuition class. Thank you for just being there, your stoic presence and your well-muscled (SEE I NOT CALLING YOU FAT) frame just being steady while I wet your whole pack of tissue yesterday. And for attempting to make me laugh while drinking fruit juice is appreciated. (: Whole lotta love goes to you (:

Samantha, Ivan, Sylvia, Sushian, Chew - thank you for the messages too, my spiritual family (: I can't say much but for always being there, I love all of you unconditionally (:

Cheryl - nothing. Just my love <3

*

Nostalgia prevails.
:/

Rounds of Asshole Taitee and Bridge is killing me.
But I got to spend time with her...
I miss her so much.
Her bak kut teh, burbur chacha, ba zhang...
HAIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

It's life.

2008-09-06T15:39:00.002+08:00

` 1084; -

She's gone.

2008-09-05T11:20:00.003+08:00

` 1083; - something beautiful

ZOMFG I'M GOING O.O
It's a private event too:D
& she's like one of my favourite photographers and !!!!
Thanks Faith!

2008-09-04T00:50:00.003+08:00

` 1082; - shattering crusades

"And at that moment, I swear we were infinite."

2008-09-02T14:21:00.004+08:00

` 1081; - you raise me up

I met my inspiration/mentor/guide yesterday.

Marcus wanted to see his friends after tuition and I thought of seeing him at the same time.
Went up to the New York set of classrooms, and found him in his office.
It was a meeting that brought my spirits up, and I won't forget it for the world.
Even though I've left The Learning Lab for about 2 years now, he still remembers me.

He still looks the same, or not busier. Yet he still took time off to talk to me.
I miss him a lot, those two years. Meeting him was fun, if not insightful.

"Have a boyfriend already?" he asked, with a smile.
"Haha, no sir."
"Why not?"
"I don't think I should let matters of the heart get into my studies now."
"Wise choice, Naomi. You've matured since."

He's like my very own Morrie. Morrie in the book Tuesdays with Morrie. Or, in other words, he's my Rich Dad in Robert T Kiyosaki's book Rich Dad Poor Dad.

"What are your plans?"
"I've secured a place in Ngee Ann Poly, Mr Choe."
"Ngee Ann Poly is a very reputable one, go for it since you know what you want. One thing is, work hard at it, keep the scores. Get into a university... you can skip to second year, third year even."
"But Mr Choe... I'm quite disappointed that I couldn't go into RJC and all..."
"Ah, but when it comes to the working world, I find that people who are in neighbourhood schools seem to be quite tenacious."

After around half an hour of talking, he walked me out and to the main building of United Square.

And I remembered, he was there when I cried for my results, there when I was on Singapore's Brainiest, and he was always there, cheering me on. Even though he graduated from Stanford University and he was from the The Principals' Center at the Graduate School of Education, Harvard University, he still nurtures me to who I am now.

"Keep on going on, Naomi, for I believe in you."

I so miss him and his teaching a lot.
Mr Choe, you're the ultimate teacher. See you next year (:

2008-09-01T22:30:00.003+08:00

` 1080; - there's no need to complicate

Sometimes I wish I have a terrible memory. A memory that remembers all the good and not the bad of people. Like a sieve, a diary with no entries, a big tunnel where a train can pass through with maximum efficiency. An utopia on earth.

But I don't. There's no use pretending. Our minds are kinetic. We remember things by doing them - like riding a bike or learning rhythm. My, our, rather, bodies has a memory of its own; trying to remember how it felt like - a trauma, a pain, a kiss. You see it in the mundane, the habits. Every single day, we do what we can, to extricate the tender, the magical moment like the pivotal feeling just before a kiss (and after that it all spirals downwards, haha. No sexual connotations, please!). We try to keep things in check but a part of our minds wander back to the time when forever was a reality. We try to hush vulnerability to a whisper. But we are not successful.

Almost every night, I fall asleep like this, the nakedness of my mind bare for God to see like a stack of cards over a coffee table.

*

There's no use being a hypocrite, covering up what you're doing. Don't lie to us, we know what's going on. Your intention's so blatantly obvious; you don't need to fabricate your little web of white lies to us because a white lie is still a lie.

I'm supposed to protect you. But on what basis? I can't much longer; you're spiraling downwards, my friend. Stupid excuses like "Oh I have tuition", "Her house is very near mine." Granted, it's near yours, but it doesn't mean that you walk home every SINGLE DAY. She has her legs, she's not handicapped or anything.

I have people who tell me what's going on. I shrug. For your responsibility is not mine, and if you waste precious time to hanker after frivolous things instead of growing in God, it's not my problem. I tell you, I try to talk to you but all you give me is that stupid face of "What the hell is she talking to me." Uh, you're falling into temptation, not me.

Thank you for showing me the real you. Thank you for letting me know that I couldn't lean on you much longer. Thank you for reminding me how even a best friend can turn out to be a hypocrite. Thank you for liberating me, so that I could have more favour with men (figuratively), instead of finding that favour with you.

If you ever wake up from your temporary lalaland, I'm still here, but everything isn't going to be the same. You've lost my trust, you've lost my respect. It's to be gained. You've lost almost the whole group already. We TRY to believe in you but you haven't got anything to prove - that's why you were taken down. You don't practice what you preach, how are we going to entrust the whole group into your hands? We will just be a memory instead of a tradition.

I don't know what to say to you anymore. I see you, you avoid me. GG. Good game, pwnage. It was nice playing the game with you, afterall.

Goodbye, my friend.

*

I feel so refreshed letting everything out. Now, I've gotta bring revival to B Zone (: Ben's coming for sleepover and maybe Marcus will come yay!

2008-09-01T00:58:00.004+08:00

` 1079; - now I'm trying to get back

I'm really scared.

Today, there was a commotion this morning...

And I woke up. Dad told me to go to Grandma's house because something happened to her.

I rushed over with lion mane worthy hair, crumpled shirt and FBTs.

They said she had breathing difficulties.

And my mom said that it was similar to what my aunt had in March-April. Then she started crying.

Last time she would cook her Burbur Chacha, and her soups...

Made tangyuans and call me over to eat.

She would also pop by my house, and would just sit down and ask where my parents were...

But after 2nd Aunt passed away, her health took a bad turn...

She now is bounded to a wheelchair, her eyes looking at all of us.

She just coughed up her medicine today.

She's at SGH now...

I so want to see her.

And when I miss her, I miss my 2nd Aunt as well.

But at least 2nd Aunt probably accepted Christ before...

Oh, please, don't, take her away.

She hasn't known God yet, show her Your will oh Lord.

2008-09-01T00:24:00.006+08:00

` 1078; - open up your mind and see like me

I loved yesterday, today, and I will do so for tomorrow.

Today was great. Went to church, and then brought Ben and his Mr Funny shirt for service. Ivan then met Ben and said, "WOAH NAOMI ANOTHER NEW FRIEND" and he gave me this big big grin that made my day. Little wonder Pst Tan gave him the sermon CD!

I'm proud that evangalism has been my gift from God. So far I've discovered this gift from God. Let's see... I really lost count who I brought to church! I remember Ayleen, Kelly, Jason, Weekiat, Joel, Faith, Jia En, Jiong Yang, Bryan, Annabelle, Rebecca, Wanwen, Joyce, Chin Yee, and a few other more which I forgot. Oh no, I realise it's quite little compared to Adri but I need to really go do some lurvin' (: I love people, even if they're big, fat, thin, skinny, lean, mean. :D

I mean, as I walk with Jesus it's simply amazing. I know the purpose and destiny that has been planned for me and I'm going to follow it. I made a pre-made decision that I'm not going to backslide and I'm definitely not going to. (: Especially when I know there's so much, much more.

Service was awesome today. Initially I was like, "Eh why is Pst Tan not talking about the women getting dominion but the MEN?!" But as he spoke, I understood more. Quite true actually. I'm going to do my QT later and ponder over his words.

B ZONE! 4 MORE TO 100! (:
I'm so going to make that difference.

Ben was enthralled by Desiree. He says because she's funny.

And look at his purdy purdy faceeeeeeeeeeee:

Ok I think that is going to corrupt my computer and cause it to hang. I'm traumatised by it already and to think that I'm going to meet him for tuition tomorrow. SCARY.

Need to study for Chem/Phy tomorrow (:
goodnight & goodbye

2008-08-27T21:30:00.003+08:00

` 1077; - Revolutionaries wait

My Pastors, my inspiration.

WHAT IF...

I give a cheque to hoGc in ten thousands...hundred thousands...millions one day?
I become the Next Big Thing?
I use my affluence to influence?
I overshadow Ayumi Hamasaki, Lee Hyori and Jolin Tsai?
I'll use my testimony to impact the next generation?
I eradicate poverty in Africa?
I do my best to help starving, orphaned, sickly children when I become someone famous one day?
I help to plant hoGc Seoul, Busan, Incheon, Tokyo, Osaka, Okinawa and many more?
I become a CGL?

My friends will grow.
My CG will grow.
My church will grow.
I will grow.
I want to replicate my Pastors.

WHY NOT?

(:

But for now, I need to do what I gotta do.
At least I have a direction to go to, to follow.
Nothing is impossible with God.

2008-08-25T22:29:00.004+08:00

` 1076; - you light up my life

"Naomi, I believe JESUS CHRIST is always there for you, so may you be led and guided all the way through your studies ^-^ I will pray for you and the others as well!"

"Oh haha why so random?"

":D Random makes you special! Ha"

I mean, where can I find such great Korean brotherly lurveeeeeeeeee like that? Thank God for bringing Kimchi in my life. And of course Julie, Eunsol, Sanghyun, Hyejune. LOVE!LOVE!

*

Oh, wait, meme~!

1] At what age do you wish to marry?
23

2] What I want the most now?
More friends, more $, more laughter and His presence and love

3] Who is the person you trust the most?
Manymany. Pastor How Pastor Lia Wanwen Chew Sam Ivan Debbie Tingwei Daniel Park and manymanymore

4] Do you think you have enough confidence?
Sometimes

5] If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Marry Rain/the love of my life, be a news anchor/model/celebrity to influence

6] Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Yeah, I wna see it during the rain too

7] What are you afraid to lose the most now?
Lose? My friends? How about flunking. Now that's scary.

8] Do you believe in eternal love?
Yeah, Jesus proved it (:

9] If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Yeah if he does it first. Girls asking first won't work. Been there, done that. But not now ah eh.

10] List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Don't know who tagged me.

11] What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Eh. Looks department: Tall, cute, funny, looks great when smiling (I must be able to sense a tingle down my spine when he does that!), small to medium sized eyes. Oh good complexion with a little pimples are okay. Oh and his HAIR. No mushroom bob plskthx. But most importantly he must be able to make me smile when I'm down, encourage me and he must be a Christian. Oh, able to camwhore/act retarded with me, honest, faithful, understanding, caring and would do household duties when I don't feel like it. :D He must be someone that I can share everything with, and he must not JUDGE ME. oh and another thing, at least have a nice fashion sense *shudders*

12] What feeling do you hate the most?
I hate it when people try to judge me, or when they give me the vibe that I'm not needed (around). And the feeling of being betrayed. That's the worst.

13] Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Yeah

14] Do you believe in God?
YES. Heart of God Church FTW V^_^V

15] What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
God, family, friends, love.

16] Do you find it a need for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
No, not now. I mean, God will provide, right?

17] At this point of time, would you rather stay in your comfort zone or try something new?
Something new please. I hate staying in a place for too long.

18] What kind of friend you hope to be in your friend's eyes?
Someone who is there to lean on anytime, and just transparent to them. I hope I already am.

19] Brains or looks?
Both I guess.

20] Who deserves to die?
Beelzebub.

2008-08-25T18:52:00.003+08:00

` 1075; - 北京北京,我愛北京

He was the reason why I'm smiling so much while watching the closing of the Beijing Olympics.

내 미래의 남편. <3

2008-08-21T23:30:00.004+08:00

` 1074; - go energizer bunny go

I'm still in shock over Lee Eon's death. :/

Anyway on a happier note...

It's Raining in Beijing! 8D

YAY FINALLY YOU'VE DONE SOMETHING WITH THAT BOWLCUT! 8D

나의 남편 arrived in Beijing yesterday/today and will be staying there till 24 August, and he'll then return to Korea.

Maybe he'll be singing the closing song of the Olympics but J Tune says it isn't so.

Yeah, usual news, met with China Clouds, ~~proposed to me via webcam~~, sang, danced, blah.

:D

And another thing...
나의 남편.
나.
mine.

*fangirls* 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[edit]

나의 남편 IS going to close the 2008 Beijing Olympics!

AHAHAHAHAHHA YAY.
I'm so going to watch it because after his segment he'll turn to the cam and say, "I LOVE NAOMI SEOW RU TING out loud I want to see the splendidness of it all. HAHA. Uh, Naomi, I don't think so.

It'll air on Aug 24, around 8.00pm (Korea time)

And a last picture...

SO MAN RIGHT. He'll be manlier when he comes to Heart of God Church. HOHOHO

2008-08-21T23:21:00.004+08:00

` 1073; - R.I.P Lee Eon

OH NO. NO NO NO.

Model turned actor Lee Eon has died tragically in a motorcycle accident early this morning on his way from from a wrap-up party for for KBS’s drama Strongest Chil Woo. The 27 year old crashed into the guard rail of the elevated roadway in Hanam-dong. He is said to have died on impact.

As a resident of this city, that particular strip of elevated road is banked, curved and not well maintained. In other words, dangerous.

Yongsan police have released a statement that they yet to rule out whether he was riding under the influence of alcohol.

Having his start in modeling, Lee Eon rose to fame in last year’s successful drama, Coffee Prince.

[credits to popseoul.com]

I loved him in Coffee Prince...
):

This shows how fragile life is.
Uncannily similar to how Kim Min Soo of Monday Kiz went, don't you think.

:/

Thanks for the TV memories.

2008-08-21T22:08:00.002+08:00

` 1072; -

"Hey Naomi, I was very touched by your testimony."

That statement by three people brightened up my day.
I love you, Julie, Daniel and Hye June. (:

2008-08-19T23:58:00.003+08:00

` 1071; - nocturne

Thank You for reminding me of this, oh God.

And a list of people I want to mention:

Bryan
Daniel Park
Balloonnnnnnnnn
Julie
Hye June
Christine
Wanwen
Vivian
Vanessa
Daniel Chan
Jia Xuan
Shermin
Jael
Elijah

I love you prayer group (:
Thank God for friends like you.
Certainly this is a year of favour with God and men (not MEN, per se, it's MAN MEN).
Prelims, argh.

1) STUDY
2) STUDY
3) STUDY
4) STUDY
5) STUDY
6) STUDY
7) STUDY
8) STUDY
9) STUDY
10) STUDY

Yeah you get the idea.

2008-08-17T22:16:00.002+08:00

` 1070; - you got me going crazy

WHY OH WHY DOES THE GOOD STUFF HAPPEN WHEN I'M DOING MY O LEVELS?!?!? ):

I want to go for Epik High's concert in Seoul and it's like in SEPTEMBER?! Kwon Sang Woo's wedding is one day after that but I don't care about KSW, sorry Joyce.

Tablo is a LEGEND. Seriously.
When I become a celeb I must meet him.
He graduated from Stanford University with a major in English Lit, yo.
Jin and Mithra! :D

EPIK HIGH EPIK HIGH <3

2008-08-16T14:54:00.002+08:00

` 1069; - it's foolishness I know

I could sing of Your love forever

2008-08-14T21:57:00.003+08:00

` 1068; -

A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as You will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give You every breath that I have
Oh Lord, You can work miracles
All that You need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as You will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in You
I trust in You

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as You will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small

2008-08-12T16:41:00.003+08:00

` 1067; - do with me as You will

NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC MASS COMMUNICATIONS
WELCOME ME WITH OPEN ARMS, YO.

I think a B3 is good enough for my chinese but Mum says no so yeah, I'm retaking (:

Anyway I know this is old news but congratulations to Park Tae Hwan for winning gold in swimming, Men's freestyle 200m for the Olympics! Go Korea Go! :D

Before you accuse me of not being nationalistic, I think Tao Li did VERY well. I mean, you go swim for the Olympics and broke the Asian record and qualified for the finals, lost by 0.15s. I think that's super commendable already (:

Okay enough about Olympics, it's driving me crazy.

Recess-ed with Daniel and Balloon today and it was crazy. They threatened me that if I don't buy anything to eat I can't be in the Hwaffles Club anymore ): Okay take that Daniel Park Seong Chao I'm going to eat. Not.

And I really think it's God that gave me the spot in Ngee Ann. I thought I couldn't get in at all. But thank You. (:

PASTOR HOW GET WELL SOON! :D

2008-08-10T10:30:00.002+08:00

` 1066; -

Oh how I love Heart of God Church.

I was like praying for new friends yesterday, really praying and then Wanwen messaged me if she could bring Chin Yee and Bryan Koh along.

And when they came Sylvia was saying: "I also prayed for new friends!"

Okay we just simply flow too much man...

On Friday had an amazing fellowship with Daniel.
I "coincidently" bumped into him at Aljunied library with Cheryl and met Jael there.
Then Cheryl and Jael left (THANKS AH) and walked Daniel to his church.
We were talking about the prayer group, our plans for it,and how God actually changed all of us and whether I could join him for recess on tuesday with balloon.

And he got me lost in Geylang. But managed to find my way to Singpost in time for BM.

Back to today (:
Bryan is super open!
YAY. He is coming back for service of Saturday and we're planning some kind of study outing with him this week because he has N Levels.
But I believe God can touch him like what He has did to me (:

Oh and thanks to the Ivan influence I LOVE COLDPLAY(:
OH AND WAITWAIT.

Bryan Koh: Best Friend upgraded to Brother.
Ryan New: Brother!!! :D
Eric Chen: Adopted Godfather
Boxue: ACTUAL godfather (but doesn't want me so sad huh oh noes it sounds wrong.)

YEAH I'm done with my incomprehensible post. No school tomorrow, piano in the morning and chem in the afternoon how romantic can it get.

But it just makes you smile when people message me "jiayou naomi!" and that makes all the difference because God is there too.

Okay goodday and goodbye

2008-08-07T20:50:00.003+08:00

` 1065; - it will eventually happen

For I dream big.

2008-08-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

` 1064; - to have said what you have said

""Let them say what they want to say."
Even if the world is unfair and unjust
I will keep on keeping on.
And those around me will then realize.
I will then grow stronger
My expression will be unreadable, I don't want them to know.
Just this short phrase, it's enough for me."

- Rain