so we'd spread love like violence; ♥
환영
♥ rai·son d'ê·tre (rā'zōn dět'rə,) {존재 이유}n. pl.reason or justification for being or existence
나는
naomi jung
서여정, 三浦 なおみ
29 june 1992
ngee ann poly mass communications
Rorsharch ink blot
Pianist
J Tune Entertainment
& ooooh, Rain 비 = ♥
ll.intoxicated.ll@gmail
Heart of God Church ♥ b41
/more about me
wishlist
friendster
cyworld
facebook
wordpress
나의 남편!
누구지?
정지훈/Rain/Jihoon - the husband.
Faith/Spaz - the best friend.
Prisia/Siao - the other best friend.
Cheryl - Cooking mama
Joyce - Korean fanatic.
Brother (wenjun) - who has 10000000 brains
Hyun - Mr Smart-ass Korean.
Chew - Dear Leader.
용어
Ajumma (아줌마) : Auntie
Ajusshi (아저씨) : Uncle
Chagiya/Yeobo (자기야/여보): Darling/Honey
Namja Chingu/Namchin (남자친구/남친) : boyfriend
Yeoja Chingu/Yeochin (여친/여자친구) : girlfriend
Hyung (형) : Older brother (for males)
Oppa (오빠) : Older brother, also can be used as "boyfriend" in a steady relationship (for females)
Nuna (누나) : Older sister (for males)
Onni (언니) : Older sister (for females)
Ssulung (썰렁) : "so cheesy/cold/lame" for cold jokes
Selca (셀카) : camwhore/self camera
Wang Ja (왕자) : 6 pack/washboard abs
할말!
친구
♥ Heart Of God Church
♥ B and C Zone!
♥ donghaeng; Lord and Me
♥ Moi-même-Moitié
♥ amelia
♥ andrew lau!
♥ andrina
♥ anqi
♥ bellrarie!
♥ boxue!
♥ candy!
♥ cassandra!
♥ chew!
♥ clara!
♥ dajie
♥ darren!
♥ daryl!
♥ debrah
♥ faith, best friend!
♥ fedora!
♥ gabrielle!
♥ hinwen
♥ ivan!
♥ jasmine
♥ jia en!
♥ jia jia!
♥ jiayang!
♥ jia yun
♥ joanne!
♥ joyce
♥ kenneth!
♥ le raine
♥ ling
♥ liyin
♥ lucinda!
♥ marissa
♥ nadine!
♥ nelson!
♥ pearlyn
♥ peggy
♥ pei fen!
♥ pei jun
♥ reuben
♥ ruoen!
♥ ryan new!
♥ samantha!
♥ samantha whang
♥ sion; mr kimchi!
♥ shermaine!
♥ shihua
♥ shijin
♥ shizhe
♥ shumin
♥ shu xian/joe
♥ sofiana
♥ sophia
♥ sushian!
♥ sylvia!
♥ thea
♥ ting wei!
♥ trisha
♥ wanwen
♥ wei lai
♥ wendy
♥ winsome
♥ yi jing!
♥ yu xuan
♥ zhiyi!
명사
♥ Abingdon Boys School
♥ Gackt
♥ Kenichi Matsuyama @ Horipro
♥ L'arc~En~Ciel
♥ Malice Mizer
♥ Namie Amuro
♥ S.K.I.N
♥ Big Bang
♥ DBSK Offical Site
♥ Epik High
♥ Rain's Company - J Tune Entertainment
♥ Rain's Company - J Tune Creative
♥ Rain's Offical Site
♥ Se7en
♥ Tablo
♥ Yiruma
♥ Gackt Dears
♥ Gackt Syndrome
♥ Rain Singapore
♥ Rain Union
♥ Sexy Bi
블로그
Blogs I read:
♥ Feet Man Seoul
♥ Joss Sticks
♥ K-popped!
♥ Lakeside Girl
♥ Mr Brown
♥ Mr Miyagi
♥ Mr Wang Says So
♥ PopSeoul!
♥ The Sartorialist
♥ Sibeh Sian
♥ Singaporean Mind
♥ Son of Singapore
주크박스
과거
11월 2005 12월 2005 1월 2006 2월 2006 3월 2006 4월 2006 5월 2006 6월 2006 7월 2006 8월 2006 9월 2006 10월 2006 11월 2006 12월 2006 1월 2007 2월 2007 3월 2007 4월 2007 5월 2007 6월 2007 7월 2007 8월 2007 9월 2007 10월 2007 11월 2007 12월 2007 1월 2008 2월 2008 3월 2008 4월 2008 5월 2008 6월 2008 7월 2008 8월 2008 9월 2008 10월 2008 11월 2008 12월 2008
감사
Layout: vehemency
수요일, 12월 03, 2008, 8:39 오후
` 1154; - smile for the paparazziPride may get in the way. Doesn't matter.
Titles may overshadow intentions. Doesn't matter.
Politics in the group may get in the way. Doesn't matter.
Good intentions may be mistaken as bad ones. Doesn't matter.
Jumping to conclusions may numb sensitivity to other people's emotions. Doesn't matter.
Truly, power corrupts.
I'm disappointed. What happened to the old you?
It's a time for stretching. People may disappoint me but I can't be disappointed with them because God doesn't give up on the worst people.
Stretching emotionally.
Ganbare, Naomi.
라벨: angry
월요일, 11월 10, 2008, 11:42 오후
` 1135; -I can't help but feel envious of my brother. He has dinner every Saturday with his parents, without fail. I could see him rushing off to meet them after service, after administering his customary pat on my head and a smile and then sometimes I have the pang of jealousy right in my heart. But I shrug it off, and move on with my CG for dinner.
I went home, and asked my parents if we could have dinner together every Saturday or something, outside.
"Mom hey, want to have dinner together every Saturday?"
"No time lah. Busy. Earn money for you, you know? Always spend here, spend there, like that Crumpler bag in your room. Anyhow spend."
"Mom that's Ben's bag because he knew my bag spoilt that's why he lent it to me."
"Ahya, whatever, you always go shopping, cut hair..."
"Mom the last time I cut my hair to this stupid haircut was in July, and I didn't even go shopping at all since June, and I've been wearing the same old things again and again. And reality check, you cut my allowance by half."
"You always no time where got time to eat with you?! You got school, church, and tuition."
I can never understand.
I think that all of us, ultimately, just want to hear "I'm so proud of you." or any form of recognition so that we know that we're acknowledged and accepted by our parents. Our driving force behind everything is the same, to be known and loved by the people who brought us up.
But sometimes for some people, it's an arduous task.
목요일, 11월 06, 2008, 7:06 오후
` 1130; - and damn you're freeSorry, I'm not in Raffles Girls School, the school where you always want me to be. Sorry that I turned down the DSA to Raffles Junior College because I decided that I don't want to roast my brain for 2 years. I'm sorry, that I'm not someone pretty like Julia so you could parade me proudly in front of other people.
You may say sorry to me after you've said these, but sorry doesn't mean a thing when you repeat everything that I mentioned above every time you find something that you hate about me that you just have to say it. Might as well not apologize, I can take it, don't need your insincere sincerities. Too much of it given from the world, period.
Never mind, Holly, I can handle this crap.
목요일, 10월 30, 2008, 12:20 오전
` 1124; - and I swear
My husband will never, ever, ever, for the love of God, be like him.
SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP,HUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP,SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP. I NEED TO STUDY.
라벨: angry, white noise
토요일, 9월 06, 2008, 3:39 오후
` 1084; -
She's gone.
라벨: angry, confused, loss, sad
월요일, 9월 01, 2008, 10:30 오후
` 1080; - there's no need to complicate
Sometimes I wish I have a terrible memory. A memory that remembers all the good and not the bad of people. Like a sieve, a diary with no entries, a big tunnel where a train can pass through with maximum efficiency. An utopia on earth.
But I don't. There's no use pretending. Our minds are kinetic. We remember things by doing them - like riding a bike or learning rhythm. My, our, rather, bodies has a memory of its own; trying to remember how it felt like - a trauma, a pain, a kiss. You see it in the mundane, the habits. Every single day, we do what we can, to extricate the tender, the magical moment like the pivotal feeling just before a kiss (and after that it all spirals downwards, haha. No sexual connotations, please!). We try to keep things in check but a part of our minds wander back to the time when forever was a reality. We try to hush vulnerability to a whisper. But we are not successful.
Almost every night, I fall asleep like this, the nakedness of my mind bare for God to see like a stack of cards over a coffee table.
*
There's no use being a hypocrite, covering up what you're doing. Don't lie to us, we know what's going on. Your intention's so blatantly obvious; you don't need to fabricate your little web of white lies to us because a white lie is still a lie.
I'm supposed to protect you. But on what basis? I can't much longer; you're spiraling downwards, my friend. Stupid excuses like "Oh I have tuition", "Her house is very near mine." Granted, it's near yours, but it doesn't mean that you walk home every SINGLE DAY. She has her legs, she's not handicapped or anything.
I have people who tell me what's going on. I shrug. For your responsibility is not mine, and if you waste precious time to hanker after frivolous things instead of growing in God, it's not my problem. I tell you, I try to talk to you but all you give me is that stupid face of "What the hell is she talking to me." Uh, you're falling into temptation, not me.
Thank you for showing me the real you. Thank you for letting me know that I couldn't lean on you much longer. Thank you for reminding me how even a best friend can turn out to be a hypocrite. Thank you for liberating me, so that I could have more favour with men (figuratively), instead of finding that favour with you.
If you ever wake up from your temporary lalaland, I'm still here, but everything isn't going to be the same. You've lost my trust, you've lost my respect. It's to be gained. You've lost almost the whole group already. We TRY to believe in you but you haven't got anything to prove - that's why you were taken down. You don't practice what you preach, how are we going to entrust the whole group into your hands? We will just be a memory instead of a tradition.
I don't know what to say to you anymore. I see you, you avoid me. GG. Good game, pwnage. It was nice playing the game with you, afterall.
Goodbye, my friend.
*
I feel so refreshed letting everything out. Now, I've gotta bring revival to B Zone (: Ben's coming for sleepover and maybe Marcus will come yay!
라벨: angry, rant, white noise
금요일, 7월 11, 2008, 10:58 오후
` 1043; - and another thing!I am very very x infinity stressed now because
1. I am analyzing the poem for tomorrow's debate w/o assistance
2. I don't even know what the poem is about.
3. I am jaded. Very.
Uh, yeah, I'm sure that in my life there are a lot (& by that I mean A LOT) of really dark, wicked and screwed people. So much that I can't fill Pulau Semakau landfill if I had to bury them all. I secretly (okay not so subtle here) wish they would unscrew themselves or brighten up a little so that I wouldn't be that disgusted. If being "friends"counts as throwing all the crap to me to do something and not willing to budge, I'm sorry your kind of friendship isn't worth much. I wish Y.O.U could just S.H.O.O.T Y.O.U.R.S.E.L.F (cue BANG! BANG!) and the world would be a better place. Trust me, it will.
I should have known, in Sec 2 I thought you were my good friend and I bought you lots of stuff, little did I know Y.O.U were USING ME as a DOORMAT all this while. The cheek of it. And now? Bitching? Who's the bitch? Go look into the mirror and the answer's there. Bitching won't get you far, dearie, as far as this world is concerned (pardon the pun) and oh, especially LAZINESS. Now thanks to you, I'm going to waste like probably 5 hours of my life doing something that I put in effort but the team isn't.
And in case you thought that what I wrote above isn't true and doesn't apply to you? You are not even in the list of those people who are entitled to think that. And I'm not compromising? Think harder. What I suggest is that you should make GETTING DOWN AND DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW at the top of your What-Should-I-Do list and get off your fat butt and actually do something that is benefiting yourself.
Take that monster.
목요일, 3월 27, 2008, 10:54 오후
` 980; - dream of alternate realitiesHad a great dinner with Darren, Shermaine, Desiree, Sylvia, Hannah, Cindy, Nelson and Boxue just now at Chompx2 after CG. Had wonderful fellowship and a few cold jokes here and there (: They're my family man, what could I say (:
Idk, we were talking about appearences just now and I was moaning about the oil from Darren's oyster thingy (which he very generously shared with me) will cause me to break out, as if the medicine wasn't purging out the stuff in the first place. Well Nelson and Darren told me that it'll tide over...well.
Darren said that appearences don't matter, we're in church. And people do not judge people by their appearences in church... true, but I have this issue with myself that only God can settle.
*
It's antagonising for some people when they have one spot on their face, but for me, I'm hoping for the day which I do not need to put on concealer when I leave the house. It's crushing to see all those people around you with near perfect skin knowing that you want what they have. It's demoralising to see models on magazines displaying flawless complexion when you know they are who you want to be in the future. It makes me mad to see people with good skin smoke. They are crazy.
I don't know why I'm crying as I type this. Maybe it's the sorrow that I'm bottling inside for so long. I try to be the Iron Lady, when people see, they'll go, "Even though her face is like that, she's still so strong, so optimistic." I try not to show that the state of my face bothers me. Actually it does. A LOT. A WHOLE CRAPPY LOT.
I hate going to school with concealer on. I hate it. I know it clogs up the pores but what can I do? I'll only get more jibes about my face, how red it gets and it looks like some snake's skin. I'll get stares and amused whispers. I've gotten that in Sec 1 & 2, even till now. I hate having to monitor what I have to eat in fear of another breakout. I hate having to stuff myself with horrible tonics and soups. I hate having to endure painful laser treatments on my face one after another. I hate having to go for ultrasound every 4 months for my kidneys when it actually doesn't help me at all. I NEED A TRANSPLANT, HEARD ME?! NOT ULTRASOUNDS. IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. AT ALL. I hate having urine tests, blood tests, and all those nonsense.
WHATEVER.
For God saved my day.
Song of Songs 7:1-9
월요일, 3월 10, 2008, 7:08 오후
` 970; - flying away from lovelost
I guess it has never crossed your mind how much we loved you, and just because you can't take things the way they are, you left.
It's all about you, you, you. When you accepted Him did you ever think that Christianity isn't going to be a bed of roses? Christianity isn't easy. Even Jesus Himself said that it isn't. Yet why do we still believe in Him? It's faith. Do you have any?
Even though I'm not in the same group as you, we were friends since when? April 2007? That's how long I've known you. And, leadership is not about the position. It's abut accepting more responsibility. I don't see the leaders having it all too easy. It's harder than what you think.
Probably if you had sat through End Times you'd get a clearer picture.
Lost time?
I mean, I remembered what Pastors said that some people would think these thoughts when he/she comes back to God and church:
"Wow, isn't that person an integration when I was at church? Now he's a TL." or, "Woah, she's on worship team!"
At least it's not too late for those people if they truly came back (:
And furthurmore, your good friend insulted Pastors and a leader. Firstly, I've spoken to him before and I don't think he's that kind of person. If he is, why would Pastors choose him to be a leader? You yourself know that leaders FLOAT up. Secondly, to quote him, I will never, ever care about those who dare scold/insult my Pastors.
Pastors did so much to build this church with the strong culture.
And you ungratefully snubbed them.
*
Enough said, but...
Can't wait for my future with Heart of God Church. (:
라벨: angry