so we'd spread love like violence; ♥
♥ rai·son d'ê·tre (rā'zōn dět'rə,) {존재 이유}

n. pl.reason or justification for being or existence


naomi jung
서여정, 三浦 なおみ
29 june 1992
ngee ann poly mass communications
Rorsharch ink blot
J Tune Entertainment

& ooooh, Rain 비 = ♥


Heart of God Church ♥ b41

/more about me


나의 남편!


정지훈/Rain/Jihoon - the husband.

Faith/Spaz - the best friend.

Prisia/Siao - the other best friend.

Cheryl - Cooking mama

Joyce - Korean fanatic.

Brother (wenjun) - who has 10000000 brains

Hyun - Mr Smart-ass Korean.

Chew - Dear Leader.


Ajumma (아줌마) : Auntie

Ajusshi (아저씨) : Uncle

Chagiya/Yeobo (자기야/여보): Darling/Honey

Namja Chingu/Namchin (남자친구/남친) : boyfriend

Yeoja Chingu/Yeochin (여친/여자친구) : girlfriend

Hyung (형) : Older brother (for males)

Oppa (오빠) : Older brother, also can be used as "boyfriend" in a steady relationship (for females)

Nuna (누나) : Older sister (for males)

Onni (언니) : Older sister (for females)

Ssulung (썰렁) : "so cheesy/cold/lame" for cold jokes

Selca (셀카) : camwhore/self camera

Wang Ja (왕자) : 6 pack/washboard abs



♥ Heart Of God Church
♥ B and C Zone!
♥ donghaeng; Lord and Me
♥ Moi-même-Moitié
♥ amelia
♥ andrew lau!
♥ andrina
♥ anqi
♥ bellrarie!
♥ boxue!
♥ candy!
♥ cassandra!
♥ chew!
♥ clara!
♥ dajie
♥ darren!
♥ daryl!
♥ debrah
♥ faith, best friend!
♥ fedora!
♥ gabrielle!
♥ hinwen
♥ ivan!
♥ jasmine
♥ jia en!
♥ jia jia!
♥ jiayang!
♥ jia yun
♥ joanne!
♥ joyce
♥ kenneth!
♥ le raine
♥ ling
♥ liyin
♥ lucinda!
♥ marissa
♥ nadine!
♥ nelson!
♥ pearlyn
♥ peggy
♥ pei fen!
♥ pei jun
♥ reuben
♥ ruoen!
♥ ryan new!
♥ samantha!
♥ samantha whang
♥ sion; mr kimchi!
♥ shermaine!
♥ shihua
♥ shijin
♥ shizhe
♥ shumin
♥ shu xian/joe
♥ sofiana
♥ sophia
♥ sushian!
♥ sylvia!
♥ thea
♥ ting wei!
♥ trisha
♥ wanwen
♥ wei lai
♥ wendy
♥ winsome
♥ yi jing!
♥ yu xuan
♥ zhiyi!


♥ Abingdon Boys School
♥ Gackt
♥ Kenichi Matsuyama @ Horipro
♥ L'arc~En~Ciel
♥ Malice Mizer
♥ Namie Amuro
♥ S.K.I.N

♥ Big Bang
♥ DBSK Offical Site
♥ Epik High
♥ Rain's Company - J Tune Entertainment
♥ Rain's Company - J Tune Creative
♥ Rain's Offical Site
♥ Se7en
♥ Tablo
♥ Yiruma

♥ Gackt Dears
♥ Gackt Syndrome
♥ Rain Singapore
♥ Rain Union
♥ Sexy Bi


Blogs I read:

♥ Feet Man Seoul
♥ Joss Sticks
♥ K-popped!
♥ Lakeside Girl
♥ Mr Brown
♥ Mr Miyagi
♥ Mr Wang Says So
♥ PopSeoul!
♥ The Sartorialist
♥ Sibeh Sian
♥ Singaporean Mind
♥ Son of Singapore



11월 2005 12월 2005 1월 2006 2월 2006 3월 2006 4월 2006 5월 2006 6월 2006 7월 2006 8월 2006 9월 2006 10월 2006 11월 2006 12월 2006 1월 2007 2월 2007 3월 2007 4월 2007 5월 2007 6월 2007 7월 2007 8월 2007 9월 2007 10월 2007 11월 2007 12월 2007 1월 2008 2월 2008 3월 2008 4월 2008 5월 2008 6월 2008 7월 2008 8월 2008 9월 2008 10월 2008 11월 2008 12월 2008


Layout: vehemency

수요일, 7월 30, 2008, 7:57 오후

` 1058; - in Your arms I'm here to stay

We're getting closer everyday,
Chasing the dreams that heaven gave,
Hallelujah here we come.

Everything's beautiful with You.

Prayer group was the best.
I love every single one of you.

Daniel Park was so funny today.
He totally made WK lou3 qi4. HOHOHO.
Thank you, I love you from the depths of my heart.
Every single one of you too.
We even invented a hellogoodbye kind of greeting! :D

Will try it out on Daniel Park tomorrow. I shall start calling him Daniel. Because there're like 4 Daniels I know but his name is the most mentioned one so... yep. The rest I'll call them Chan, Daniel Li and Daniel Goh. HOHO

Prelims here I comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


On a side note, my friend is married for 2 years and she has a daughter.
And she's only like, 22. :O

I can't imagine life without, say, going out and reaching out and I'm having a baby in tow.
Not saying that having a kid is bad, I mean I want to have some of my own one day but not now right. Especially at 22...



화요일, 7월 29, 2008, 8:50 오후

` 1057; - my heart is like a spreadsheet for You to see

Cause I know You gave the world
Your only Son for us
To know Your name
To live within the Saviour's love and He took my place
Knowing He'd be crucified
And You loved, You loved
A people undeserving

Went for DPA interview today and it went well (:
THANK YOU RYAN NEW AND QIWEI for waiting for me for like more than an hour (Ryan kept frequently looking into the little window hohoho)

I have faith for my DPA!!!! (:

I couldn't resist :D
So cute right. HEHEHAHAHOOHOO.
Come on. Don't tell me you've never fangirl/boy-ed over a person before HOHO


라벨: ,

월요일, 7월 28, 2008, 10:31 오후

` 1056; - more than life

God, I know You'll never quit on me.

라벨: ,

토요일, 7월 26, 2008, 11:30 오후

` 1055; - LOVE HAHA

They may say some awful things
But there's no point in listening
Your words are the only words
That I believe in after.

- Baby It's Fact, hellogoodbye

HOHOHO this is cuteeee. Hellogoodbye is cute. Forrest Kline is nerdy. When I saw him on the web he reminds me of Mr Chin HAHA but Mr Chin won't sing for nuts.


Went for CG today at Samantha's house, and crossed the road hurriedly with Darren, Nelson and Boxue while the rest was waiting for the traffic light to turn green (with envy HAHA PUN PUN PUNNNN) and then Tingwei said that the others including her agreed that I look like a mixture of Nelson and Boxue from far.


Didn't complete study rule so couldn't go to church. And studied with Hannah at Bishan for 2 solid hours. Fellowshipped after that. I love you girl, always will. B42 is OURS AHAHAHAHA

Chemistry chemistry is ringing in my head chemistry not biology HOHO.
I am nuts. Period.

Oh there was this girl who was named Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii in the news today. NUTS, THESE PARENTS ARE.

I am sleepy. Mugg, I must. Sleep, I must not. Not yet anyway.

Doing Birthday List now yo.


금요일, 7월 25, 2008, 11:32 오후

` 1054; - car crash in silent motion

I love abstract and surreal photography. It captures the attention, the heart of the moment, the element that makes you asphyxiate. Like how you do to me. Sometimes, Mr Jeong. Most of the time it's Jesus. When you get to know him, Mr Jeong, you'll feel the same way.


I can say my life is amazing. God opened my eyes to see Him even more. Like, a whole barrage of revelations kept swarming in and I'm filled up to the midbrim but not overflow. Oh Lord I want more of You, come like a consuming fire. In school it's okay with Wanwen and friends around and of course friends like Daniel, Julie, Hyejune... and not to mention Music O Level friends (HAHA SHERMAN NAOMI TAN LIONEL ASHLEY LIM LIM YIN LIANG AND REMY BENSEBAA HOHO) and tuition mates (ORHOR BEN GOT GIRLFRIEND!). :D


DPA interview's going to be awesome. Thank you Jamie for the advice! I'm going to meet Ryan New and Potato beforehand for lunch and prayer before the interview. NEWNEW! Show me the food! :D

I think God's opening doors for me.
Thank You.

I've been looking at JTune's website everyday and seeing my profile inside of it.
I see it coming. I just have this feeling, this burning thing.


목요일, 7월 24, 2008, 8:24 오후

` 1053; - whispers hello I miss you

I am so so so so x infinity excited.
Everything's happening for good, even it's bad.

I need to thank God for bringing Daniel into my life at a time of tribulations. Actually I we met two days ago at his organized prayer group called "Gospel Letter." WOOT. And, I'm actually doing admin with him! Amazing. Wanwen is birthday coordinator and a lot of other things. Weekiat is heading the friday gathering and no I don't think we should merge yet. (:

As Daniel shared I realized how much we really FLOW. FLOW as in we share the same thoughts, ideas, revelations. I'm going to meet him tomorrow during recess and it's going to be a simply awesome meeting. Yeah we're going to do some admin and stuff and running the whole PG, but it's going to be an amazing time and I'm really looking forward to it.

I really need to get to know him better too. Hm. I love you my Korean brudddah. And not forgetting Wanwen who's a true blue good friend (: Ily as well don't get jealous huh HAHAHAH

So funny.


I'm infected with the Hellogoodbye fever, help me!


I had a revelation today.
Wanwen told me, "God will only give more things to a person that He knows can handle it."

And now all these strife... maybe God is telling and training me to see it in the fourth dimension. Like meeting Daniel, I had it in the fourth dimension to have a prayer group with him and it happened. My facial condition, I saw my face being totally healed and it did.

It'll happen.

It WILL happen.

Oh and another thing, I need to learn Korean to know what Daniel is saying.
Annyeong, I'm going to piano.


수요일, 7월 23, 2008, 8:39 오후

` 1052; - what would i've become

Revel in all the vivid unglamness man. HOHOHO
Today was a myriad of emotions again, as usual.
I don't know, a mixture of this, that and that again.
Uh, starting with euphoria, happiness and to the other side of sadness and despair.
Well it's only 4 more months, Naomi.
Daniel started a prayer group called Gospel Letter and it was good.
His sharing, awesome. Simply awesome to the max.
But however, they really need to know about praying loud and strong... and in tongues which is God's gift to us...
Maybe it's the way their churches are run. I don't know. But it isn't like, polite to laugh when someone is speaking in tongues right?!
Well I'll discuss it with Daniel and Wanwen.
Daniel is one amazing person I really need to know better. He is amazing. His conviction, his passion, his zeal... you can see it burning in his eyes.
Like me, he just caught on the fire a few years ago and when he came to Singapore he saw an urge to preach the gospel... now since Gospel Letter is started I guess we only need a little tweaking here in the admin department or something. But I'll get it sorted out with the help of God.
I really need to let decisions control emotions. I need God. To live is Christ, to die is gain.
Today I learnt, I fell and I knew.
God prunes away all the unhealthy friends you have. It's shown by the way they treat you, the way they stand by you... I know.
I mean this time is the time for God to train me to see in the fourth dimension... to picture my future.
I pictured it. All coming to pass.
I need Him, for He knows me from the inside out.
Help me God, for You know everything.


화요일, 7월 22, 2008, 11:38 오후

` 1051; - i could be brave in Your arms

Today was a flurry of emotions, here there and everywhere like a detonated bomb. I don't know, maybe it was yesterday, today I'm not so sure too. But now Viva la Vida is playing and I feel just this feeling. I love my church.

Studied with Sylvia, Hannah and Sushian at Macs. Ate with Jiayang for a while first. Sushian took out her Mac and then Jiayang, Sushian and I were hooked. Photos later, loves. Jiayang went up to church for ministry and Shermaine came. Ian Koh came later too. If you ask me who I can exchange my life for I'd say none.

And it was also the first time I really talked to Jiayang. HAHAHAH NO HAIR

I've done my first workplan, done homework faithfully and QT! I feel so fulfilled. My dream L1R5 will come to pass (:

Okay I shall stop here. Will Study. Now.

Well you are the one the one that lies close to me
Whispers hello I miss you quite terribly
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

Hellogoodbye serenades me to sleep (:
goodnight (:


토요일, 7월 19, 2008, 1:25 오전

` 1050; - I’ll reach my hand out to you

He takes ugly. He loves ugly. And He loves me which makes me... beautiful.


12:50 오전

` 1049; -

I'm a Church Builder.

When I saw the spreadsheet for the organisational structure of HOGC, I was in shock because I saw my name. I did not deem myself worthy to even be conferred that title.

Do not think lowly of yourself for you are My daughter, He said. That is word enough.

During Youth Church Builder's Service just now, it convicted me to the very core.
Pastors depend on us. The leaders depend on us. Basically, everyone. We're the foundations.

"Just now I don't see people walking in. I see pillars. Like the trees of Narnia." - Pastor Lia.

I just really thank God that He led me to this church in particular. What would I be without this? Would I be able to serve Him so joyfully like I do so now? Would I get great emotional and spiritual support from the world? Certainly not. Would I? Would I? This is the church that lifts me up. Or not judging, from school and everything, I would be slitting my wrists and wallowing in self-pity right here and now.

I love my church and I will not entertain any thoughts about backsliding.

I love Heart of God Church. (:


목요일, 7월 17, 2008, 8:03 오후

` 1048; -


Mr Cher: "Sherman, why are you sitting at Naomi's place? That's not your name."
Sherman: "My name's Sherman Naomi Tan!!!!!!" *skips happily*

Me: "Eh Remy I'm going to call my daughter Musette Claire!"
Remy: "Yeah good for you. I'm not going to have children."
Lionel: "Who in their right mind would want their surname to be Bensebaa?"

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Remy was so slapped in the face because his full name is Bensebaa Remy HOHO


Alastair's my Sugar Daddy. His wives are Peggy and Jolene Hee.
Such a playeur! Oh congrats on getting into TJC.(:


I love MEP class many many to the max.


수요일, 7월 16, 2008, 10:30 오후

` 1047; -

trying to catch the deluge in a papercup.


일요일, 7월 13, 2008, 11:24 오후

` 1046; -

I was drooling over my desktop wallpaper (RAIN RAIN!) and my mom came and stood behind me.
Mum: "He's very handsome with his haircut."
Me: "YA YA YAHHHH!" *insert big grinnnnnnnnnnnnn :D here*
Mum: "Why you so happy?"
Me: "I don't know, he just makes me smile (:"
Mum: "Siao ah, he's not your husband."
Me: "Ya lor. Haiyyyyyyyyy."
Mum: "Oh ya, why you got so little faith? HAVE FAITH! SURE one!"

OMG my mom knows about FAITH :O


10:36 오전

` 1045; - pleasure ryland

It was always the letters that please me the most - his hilarity in the scrawls, the little bursts of passion in the neat cursive, and the playfulness in the diction, shown in the little Japanese quotes and outbursts of love in them. Letters always being out his best personality, I said, when she asked me what about him made me happy.

Sitting in Starbucks at the time of day, watching you watching me, with your hazel eyes sparkling with mirth, your well-structured hands waving as you quoted from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet (particularly Act I Scene I). I sat there, just looking at you, seeing how you always end your little speeches (which I love), with a little "I Love You."

It was you, whose words, carefully crafted, could take me as high as heaven or into an abyss below. But you didn't crash me into an abyss - you always brought me into fits of ecstasy. It was your tone, your smooth-warm honey like deep voice that aroused my soul as I listened, and listened. It was addictive, like you were my drug that kept me going on.

Now, as I see you somewhere, I remember - the whiff of your cologne as you surrounded me, the softness of your moisturized skin, the smoothness of your dark hair when I ran my fingers through it - how wonderful it had been, and I keep wondering when I would see you again.

And I know you're thinking the same thing, for great minds think alike.


Random crap for school when the english teacher gave out the topics for essay writing. Oh well.


토요일, 7월 12, 2008, 8:43 오후

` 1044; - rock the beat

Okay the title sounds like Police and Thief's stupid television jingle. :/

Went to Ngee Ann Poly yesterday with Uthara and YES RYAN NEW I HAVE FOUND THE SOMETHING XTRA IN NGEE ANN HEHEHOHOHOOHOO. Oh and I saw Paul Twohill. Apparently he's a Year Two Mass Comm student. Oh well. Whatever.

Oh God please enable me to get good grades (I will put in effort!) to go Ngee Ann please please please. Okay I sound so pathetic but anyhowso I really WANT AND NEED TO GO IN. Bleagh nuff said.

TODAY'S LITERATURE FESTIVAL WAS WOOHOO. I mean, we just did our planning and everything like DURING THE BREAK and we freaking WON Bedok Green. I swear, the bamboo shoots were thriving and only Cheryl, Qiuyi and Andrea came to support us (thanks gals!) But the boys didn't. ): WE WON! I guess it was my "this poet [breathe] somethingsomething juxtaposed somethingsomething connection which evokes emotic something" HAHAHAHAH take that. But stupid Cheryl thought I said "erotic" but it was EMOTIC. Tsk, CHERYL.


Study now. Byeeeeee.


금요일, 7월 11, 2008, 10:58 오후

` 1043; - and another thing!

I am very very x infinity stressed now because

1. I am analyzing the poem for tomorrow's debate w/o assistance
2. I don't even know what the poem is about.
3. I am jaded. Very.

Uh, yeah, I'm sure that in my life there are a lot (& by that I mean A LOT) of really dark, wicked and screwed people. So much that I can't fill Pulau Semakau landfill if I had to bury them all. I secretly (okay not so subtle here) wish they would unscrew themselves or brighten up a little so that I wouldn't be that disgusted. If being "friends"counts as throwing all the crap to me to do something and not willing to budge, I'm sorry your kind of friendship isn't worth much. I wish Y.O.U could just S.H.O.O.T Y.O.U.R.S.E.L.F (cue BANG! BANG!) and the world would be a better place. Trust me, it will.

I should have known, in Sec 2 I thought you were my good friend and I bought you lots of stuff, little did I know Y.O.U were USING ME as a DOORMAT all this while. The cheek of it. And now? Bitching? Who's the bitch? Go look into the mirror and the answer's there. Bitching won't get you far, dearie, as far as this world is concerned (pardon the pun) and oh, especially LAZINESS. Now thanks to you, I'm going to waste like probably 5 hours of my life doing something that I put in effort but the team isn't.

And in case you thought that what I wrote above isn't true and doesn't apply to you? You are not even in the list of those people who are entitled to think that. And I'm not compromising? Think harder. What I suggest is that you should make GETTING DOWN AND DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW at the top of your What-Should-I-Do list and get off your fat butt and actually do something that is benefiting yourself.

Take that monster.

라벨: ,

목요일, 7월 10, 2008, 10:50 오후

` 1042; - why I do what I do

I like this picture (: Zhang Jingna model-worthy, no? :D

I am super stressed these few days. Lookie.

Music O Level coursework - which I don't even know what I am doing, and the lyrics and words don't even match
Decor tomorrow
Miss Loi's homework
Music O Level Listening Test
Literature Mock Exam
Literature debates on Saturday

Speaking of which, I AM WILLING TO BE A TEAM PLAYER IN THIS, SO PLEASE DO YOUR PART. ): I mean, I know joining this is for the EXPERIENCE, not that alone is not enough to justify. I'm not going to waste 5 hours of my life not being prepared, having people messing up when we know we can win. Even if I know I'm going to lose, I'M NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT because that makes me the biggest loser.

Anyway I hope you get the point.


Ah, whatever, ganbare, Naomi.


수요일, 7월 09, 2008, 10:51 오후

` 1041; -

"We got robbed. All they took was the door."


월요일, 7월 07, 2008, 10:53 오후

` 1040; - you could be happy

...when you don't feel like it.

I've shaken the ashes away, going through a whole new different chapter. Like a transition, paradigm shift from darkness into light. I have been stupid for the past few months but now I shall emerge stronger and victorious like never ever before.

Studied with Hannah and Sylvia today... gained some insights and revelations and that keeps me going on. (:

Anyway, being the usual Naomi... Almost all the anger and bitterness and unforgiveness is gone. Maybe fading. But fading is good enough.


일요일, 7월 06, 2008, 10:13 오후

` 1039; -

I have been watching Furin Kazan <風林火山> which is some period drama. Good, duh, because Gackt is in it the plot was good. I would like another person to play my namesake! ):

But this scene cracks me up... Ep. 33.
(The "Lord" Nami’s father referring to is Kagetora, who is Gackt, of course. Couldn't they find a better actress (ie, YOURS TRULY) to play Nami?!?!? just - the O out of my name and it's done. Okay maybe not because Gackt doesn't do anything to her :/ Okay bad bad me)

But seriously if I were her, I'd definitely be super pissed. HOHOHO
Still halfway through haha

라벨: , ,

6:53 오후

` 1038; - this is the funnest meme evar rawrrrrzxzxzx

1) Horror movies (esp Saw & practically anything that has guts and blood and gore)
2) Having no family and friends
3) No $
4) Cockroaches
5) When Rain marries someone except me (HARHAR yes I know) :P
6) Dog poo

1) Making people laugh
2) Music (Esp J-rock and K-pop)
3) Piano
4) Shopping
5) Gila-ing around
6) Eating
7) Growing in God

1) My Bible
2) Gackt and Rain CDs/posters
3) Cellphone
4) iPod
5) Moneybox
6) Photos
7) Books

1) When I wear socks, the right one ALWAYS goes into my shoe.
2) I like chili. Will never touch ketchup.
3) Whenever I want to take bus 73 it will 1) never come 2) always be at the turning when I am stranded at the traffic light. I think the uncle hates my guts.
4) I'm not (that) brand conscious.I could walk into This Fashion and find a totally nice top for like 8 bucks.
5) I wish I was Japanese/Korean, live in Japan/Korea, work in Japan/Korea, marry a cuteJapanese/Korean guy, have cute Jap/Korean kids, live Jap/Korean, eat Jap/Korean, drink Jap/Korean die Jap/Korean. Actually no huh I just want the hot Jap/Korean guy. HAHA
6) I envision myself starring/modelling alongside Gackt and Rain. Understandable.
7) I prefer cheap $1 ice-creams besides B&J. m(Except Phish Food and Choc Brownie. You don't mess with them.)

1) Skydive
2) Go to Japan/Korea, master Jap/Korean
3) Meet Gackt and Rain and Mana and all the people I've fandomed OVER YAYZ
4) Star in dramas and movies and whatnot model with Gackt and Rain wearing hotshot clothes and Mana's creations (Moi-meme-moitie)
5) Earn a lot of money and give lots away to people who need it
6) Save the world
7) Be a pro pianist
1) Speak Korean
2) Play Mario Brothers theme song on the piano
3) Speak French in an Indian accent (but only when Remy is with me haha sry)
4) Eat drink sleep
5) Dance
6) Shop
7) Blow bubbles

1) Lie
2) Splits
3) Not eat drink sleep
4) Get an injection
6) Sleep early
7) Math

1) Eyes
2) Character
3) Smile
4) Physique (tall pls pls kthx)
5) Sense of humor
6) Maturity
7) Hair

2) What's your problem la
3) you know you love me
4) don't miss me
5) Irritating seh
6) WLAU!
7) :3

On a totally random note...
my room and house in the future will be like this:

ANYWAY IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED NODAME I COMMAND YOU TO WATCH IT NA000000000000000000000!!!!!!!!1!!!!111!!!!!

Hiroki Tamaki <3

라벨: ,

3:59 오후

` 1037; - and i fell too deep

... when I shouldn't.

I've been teetering over the cliff now playing between true life and death. I've been daring for a long time now and the branches that caught me cannot hold on for long.

Time for me to grab the saving grace and pull myself back up again.

Have to get some perspective from the store and make full use of it. Maybe stupid Naomi took over for the last 5 months. No one knew except Hyun and I. It was happy-clappy, this is perpetual, this is ai kind of feeling but it always comes with a great price. We could grow so much but we stopped, too self-absorbed, too self-centered, too ourselves.

That moment of yes was to spite, to finally prove that "hey, if you could despise me so much there's someone who doesn't." and "I don't need you anymore, you were so yester-year." After school which was practically hell for me, I could return to that immense happiness. Every single moment. Beyond describable, at that time. It was bliss under sheep's clothing. I figured I was like a void, no matter what Hyun did I was sucking everything up. I couldn't be satiated because the insults were coming every single day and Hyun couldn't keep up with it but was trying to.

I said sorry to Hyun. But when I did Hyun just brushed it off and smiled, saying it's okay it was fulfilling, maybe I guess I should grow in God too, maybe this is not a good time and next time let's see how, but I still love you. We left it at that, and Hyun was very nice about it all. Yeah thank you Hyun you're the best evarrrr.

It's called trying to find your self worth in something else.

This is what insecurity and maligning does to you. It breaks you down and forces you to seek respite. So please, don't make others feel this way because it hurts. Badly. You could destroy them. And if you're friends with someone like that, stay friends with them because you mean a lot to them. And when you go onto the other side it crushes. Yes it does. A lot.

I decided to tell because I saw my name in the spreadsheet during service yesterday. In the supervisor level, Church Builder. Part of the church rests on me while I was doing something else... treason indeed. I should start behaving like a supervisor. I should start acting like one, thinking like one, growing like one... and it starts now.

This could be the start of something beautiful. Who knows? I do, and He does.
Goodbye to this chapter, cheers to the next.


토요일, 7월 05, 2008, 2:31 오후

` 1036 ; -

Thank you Faith bestie for this :D
ILY!!!!!!!! It's my favourite band (:


12:14 오전

` 1035; -

He loved her for being so beautiful, and he hated her for it. He loved how she put shiny stuff on her lips for him, and he also reviled her for it. He wanted her to walk home alone, and he wanted to run after her and grab her up before she could talk another step.

Let me love you, but don't love me back. Do love me and let me hate you for a while. Let me feel like I have some control, because I know I never do.

- Ann Brashares, The Last Summer (of You & Me)


금요일, 7월 04, 2008, 11:48 오후

` 1034; -





목요일, 7월 03, 2008, 11:19 오후

` 1033; - you took my breath away

降り続く悲しみは 真っ白な雪に変わる
この身体が消える前に 今願いが届くのなら

The continually falling sadness changes into pure white snow
Through it all, I raised my head to the sky
Before this body disappears now, if my wish reaches you
Please hold me tight just once more...


This; is beautiful.

I dream of dueting with him one day, or him writing songs.
Oh I want to meet him.

라벨: , ,

수요일, 7월 02, 2008, 10:47 오후

` 1032; - set yourself on fire

It's 10 more minutes and I'm going to flip the open sign to the close. School's okay according to your definition of fine and I'm progressing well with God.

Ever since Prayer Group started, school has become more bearable. I'm having lunch with some Sec Ones next week and it's amazing. I'm excited. Met Peiwen when she came back to school from UNSW and I miss her so much. Told her to send my love and regards to him when she meets him tomorrow? Or is it today? I never cared to bother anymore since.

I don't know what's going on. I messaged, called, no one picks up or messages back. I need your replies, yo. I have a schedule to manage too. And I don't even know what's going on in my school. If we can't be united, will it come? No I don't think so. I shall pray about it first but you can tell that I'm not too... happy? I still think Music Class is better with real friends.

Speaking of which, PLEASE LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO ME. Especially in my class. When you talk to me, you don't look at me, you mumble to the extent I don't even know which language you were using. Scared ah, someone see? Hehheh. But the bottom line is; DOES YOUR FACE TURN INTO A BANANA IF YOU TALK PROPERLY TO ME? Tsk.

Yeah, unpleasant moments aside, I found a friend (: ILY, JH. I love you muchhhhhhhhhh. Let me copy music notes pls kthx. :3

Duet tomorrow with the Frenchman :3 Remy please play properly I know you can! *beams*

Fourth dimensional results and macbook pls.

Apple desktop only. Gackt not included because he belongs to me MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

Oh noes I has fetish for old old men :/ Nevermind he shall be young WHEN he gets saved and stops smoking and drinking and dirty-mindeding and going to the Aum Shinrikyo cult whatever thing because he has God desu! *grins*


Uh, yeah, whatever.

라벨: ,

화요일, 7월 01, 2008, 8:41 오후

` 1031; - take me to the other place

It's been 3 months on and I'm still missing you.
I remember the last time I spoke to you and saw you... was in the hospital and you were attempting to gross me out with the stitches on your stomach. I remember watching the cliched Korean drama with you and you hoped that you could see me marry Rain and I said yes you will don't talk nonsense. Then your best friend, auntie (sorry I have a very poor memory for names) came in with your favourite biscuits and you ate one and offered me another piece and it was time for me to go and I said bye see you again soon hang in there you will be okay.

The next time I saw you, I was crying, sweat and tears mingling on dry skin... and on the flat glass pane.

I still think of you. I wonder, what is death like? How do you feel right now? I want to know. Maybe the silly things I've done before were just reasons of my interest of courting death. But I knew you wanted to live.

Everytime I walk through the aisles of the supermarket I see the drink they served at your funeral. The horrible sweet tangy ones to the normal Pokka green tea. I was catapulted through time, to April where summer of Singapore was at its peak. I wondered, as I looked at you, were you hot in there? I wished that I could pry it open and offer you a paper fan, like what I did when you complained about the heat. I wished that you would somehow teach me the chacha again. I wished you could talk about Rain with me again.

I missed you so much.

I still remembered the way you called out my name, Yomi. Like a kabuki actress, no? But anyhow, it's still you.

I miss you so much.